Ménage à trois

File:CardThisIsTheLife.jpg

Postcard, Template:Circa 1910

A {{#invoke:Lang|lang}} ({{#invoke:IPA|main}}) is a domestic arrangement or committed relationship consisting of three people in polyamorous romantic or sexual relations with each other, and often dwelling together.<ref name="Daily 2022">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="Reed 2017">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> The phrase is a loan from French meaning "household of three". Contemporary arrangements are sometimes identified as a throuple,<ref>Throuple Relationships vs Threesomes Explained: What It's Like To Be In A Three-Person Romance, HuffPost, 2016 July 28.</ref> thruple,<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> or triad.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

Terminology

This relationship type usually has elements of bisexuality involved, but occasionally at least one of the participants is heterosexual, homosexual or asexual.<ref name="Encyclopedia.com 2022">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> Because this term is sometimes interchangeably used for a threesome, which solely refers to a sexual experience involving three people, it can sometimes be misrepresented as some type of casual encounter.<ref name="Publishing 2009 p. 138">Template:Cite book</ref> However, the ménage à trois is a specific type of committed relationship, in which vows are often made. It does not apply to all polyamorous relationships with three individuals, since polyamory can have many different forms.

The topic sometimes overlaps seemingly opposing concepts such as Christian feminism and lesbian feminism.<ref name="Roach 2003 p. 16">Template:Cite book</ref><ref name="Roffey 2019">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> These ideas were explored by film maker Angela Robinson in her film Professor Marston and the Wonder Women through the love story of historical couple William Moulton Marston and Elizabeth Holloway Marston with their research assistant Olive Byrne.<ref name="Berlatsky 2017">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="The Comics Journal 2017">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="Ph.D. 2017">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

Both the term and way of life have become a topic of discussion in areas associated with Christendom and Romance languages.<ref name="Gill 2008 p.">Template:Cite book</ref>

Examples

Ancient history

Traditional ideas of the Abrahamic faiths and Christian views on marriage are prevalent in literature and media discussing this topic.<ref name="Williams 2018">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> Patriarchs Abraham and Sarah had an arrangement with Sarah's handmaiden Hagar.<ref name="Women's League for Conservative Judaism Engaging, enriching, and empowering Conservative Jewish women 2013">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> Interpretations of this vary, for example Judaism and Islam treat it much more like a polygamous situation, whereas Christian sources sometimes discuss the love triangle aspect of it, which are not directly analogous with a ménage à trois. Similarly when Jacob married Leah and Rachel, the polygamy and love triangle perspectives are well researched compared to the ménage à trois.<ref name="Frankel 2001 p. 132">Template:Cite book</ref>

Sappho's writings influenced the early Christian church, and the topic of lesbianism within the ménage à trois framework of Christian couples began to be explored in post-Renaissance literature within Christian media.<ref name="Classics">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="Freeman 2016 p. 80">Template:Cite book</ref><ref name="Probe Ministries 2005">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="Henking 2010">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="Gill 2008 p."/>

Post-Renaissance history

Grand Duchess Anna Leopoldovna, regent of Russia from 1740 to 1741, was involved simultaneously in affairs with the Saxon ambassador Count Moritz zu Lynar and her lady-in-waiting Mengden.Template:Sfn<ref name="Troyat2000">Template:Cite book</ref> The regent's relationship with Mengden caused much disgust in Russia, and many believed her preoccupation with her relationships with Lynar and Mengden at the expense of governing made her a danger to the state. She was later overthrown in a coup.<ref name="Moss2001">Template:Cite book</ref>

In his youth, thirteen years her junior, the French philosopher Jean-Jacques Rousseau (1712–1778) was a protégé of the French noblewoman Françoise-Louise de Warens, who would become his first lover. He lived with her at her estate on and off since his teenage years, and in 1732, after he reached the age of 20, she initiated a sexual relationship with him while also being open about her sexual involvement with the steward of her house.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

The German intellectual Dorothea von Rodde-Schlözer (1770–1825), her husband Mattheus Rodde and the French philosopher Charles de Villers also had a ménage à trois from 1794 until her husband's death in 1810.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

The British Admiral Horatio Nelson (1758–1805) was in a ménage à trois with his lover Emma, Lady Hamilton, and her husband William Hamilton, the British ambassador to Naples, from 1799 until Nelson's death in 1805.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

At the age of 16, in 1813, the future author of Frankenstein, Mary Godwin (1797–1851), eloped with her to-be husband Percy Bysshe Shelley and engaged in a ménage with Claire Clairmont, future lover of Lord Byron, with whom the Shelleys would later have an extensive relationship.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

The Italian composer Luigi Ricci (1805–1859) married Ludmila Stolz, while still maintaining a relationship with her identical twin sister Francesca. He had a child with each.

The political philosopher Friedrich Engels (1820–1895) lived in a ménage à trois with his mistress Mary Burns and her sister Lizzie.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

The Belgian artist/illustrator Félicien Rops (1833–1898) maintained a remarkable ménage à trois with two sisters, Aurélie and Léontine Dulac, who ran a successful fashion house in Paris, "Maison Dulac". They each bore a child with him (one died at an early age) and they lived together for over 25 years until his death.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref><ref>Template:Cite book</ref><ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

The author E. Nesbit (1858–1924) lived with her husband Hubert Bland and his mistress Alice Hoatson, and raised their children as her own.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

In 1913, psychoanalyst Carl Jung (1875–1961) began a relationship with a young patient, Toni Wolff, which lasted for some decades. Deirdre Bair, in her biography of Carl Jung,<ref>Template:Cite book</ref> describes his wife Emma Jung as bearing up nobly as her husband insisted that Toni Wolff become part of their household, saying that Wolff was "his other wife".

The Russian and Soviet poet Vladimir Mayakovsky (1893–1930) lived with Lilya Brik, who was considered his muse, and her husband Osip Brik, an avant garde writer and critic.<ref>Template:Citation</ref><ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

The English poet, novelist and critic Robert Graves (1895–1985) and his wife Nancy Nicholson for some years attempted a triadic relationship called "The Trinity" with Laura Riding, a woman that Graves met and fell in love with in 1926. This triangle became the "Holy Circle" with the addition of Irish poet Geoffrey Phibbs, who himself was still married to Irish artist Norah McGuinness.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

As recounted by the author and journalist Arthur Koestler (1905–1983) in The Invisible Writing, a conspicuous fixture of the intellectual life of 1930s Budapest was a threesome—a husband, his wife and the wife's lover—who were writers and literary critics and had the habit of every day spending many hours, the three of them together, at one of the Hungarian capital's well known cafes. As noted by Koestler, their relationship was so open and lasted so many years that it became no longer the subject of gossip.

The Italian surrealist artist Leonor Fini (1907–1996) sustained a ménage à trois until her death with Italian Count Stanislao Lepri and Polish writer Konstanty Jelenski in Paris. The relationship is believed to have impacted Fini's work, as she depicts gender neutral individuals or figures where traditional gender roles are reversed with a passive male and dominant female, such as Woman Seated on Naked Man (1942).<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

The writer Aldous Huxley (1894–1963) and his first wife Maria engaged in a ménage with Mary Hutchinson, a friend of Clive Bell. Huxley coined the term "omnifutuent", referring to bisexuality.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

From 1939, the Nobel Prize winning German physicist Erwin Schrödinger (1887–1961), his wife, Annemarie Bertel, and his mistress, Hilde March, had a ménage à trois.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref><ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

Charles Moulton, the creator of Wonder Woman, lived with two women, his wife Elizabeth Holloway Marston, and Olive Byrne, until he died. Marston had two children with each. Elizabeth supported the family financially while Olive stayed home to take care of all four children.<ref name=hrcm/>

In 1963, the actress Hattie Jacques (1922–1980) lived with her husband John Le Mesurier and her lover John Schofield.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

Some 21st-century examples of notable triads include Seven Lions, who lives with his wife Emma and their girlfriend Courtney Simmons; Bella Thorne, who was publicly in a throuple with rapper Mod Sun and influencer Tana Mongeau from 2017 to 2019; and Frankie Grande, a gay actor, describes living in a gay triad.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> According to a study conducted by dating app Tinder, data has shown that Generation Z is actually more concerned with open-mindedness than looks. Per the report, "they would rather date someone who is open to trying new relationship styles than someone who looks pretty".<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>Template:Better source needed

Cultural influence

Folie à Deux winery has a popular set of wines labeled as Ménage à Trois.

In the Seinfeld TV series, season 6, episode 11, titled "The Switch," Jerry and George use this term as they devise a solution to address challenges in their relationships with women.

Wonder Woman is based on two women that were in a real life ménage à trois, as featured in Professor Marston and the Wonder Women, the creator of the comic, William Moulton Marston, and his legal wife, Elizabeth Holloway Marston, had a polyamorous life partner, Olive Byrne.<ref name="bu">Lamb, Marguerite. "Who Was Wonder Woman? Long-Ago LAW Alumna Elizabeth Marston Was the Muse Who Gave Us a Superheroine", Boston University Alumni Magazine, Fall 2001.</ref><ref name=hrcm>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="spotlight">"Alumni Spotlight: Elizabeth Holloway Marston (LAW '18)"</ref><ref name="outtowns">Malcolm, Andrew H. "OUR TOWNS; She's Behind the Match For That Man of Steel". The New York Times, 18 February 1992.</ref><ref>Template:Cite book</ref><ref>Template:Cite book</ref>

Further reading

• Template:Cite book
• Template:Cite book

External links

• Template:Wiktionary-inline
• How this Brit wooed two gorgeous women into his ‘throuple’ New York Daily News April 2015
• David meets: the cutest throuple Bear World Magazine July 2016