Editing Courtship (section)

== History ==
In the past, marriages in most societies were [[Arranged marriage|arranged by parents]] and older relatives with the goal not being [[love]] but legacy and "economic stability and political alliances", according to [[anthropology|anthropologists]].<ref name="twsDecM11">{{cite journal
 |author1=Kris Paap |author2=Douglas Raybeck |title= A Differently Gendered Landscape: Gender and Agency in the Web-based Personals
 |journal= Electronic Journal of Sociology
 |quote= most marriages in the world are arranged...
 |year= 2005
 |citeseerx=10.1.1.107.993
}}</ref> Accordingly, there was little need for a temporary trial period such as courtship before a permanent community-recognized union was formed between a man and a woman. While pair-bonds of varying forms were recognized by most societies as acceptable social arrangements, marriage was reserved for heterosexual pairings and had a transactional nature, where wives were in many cases a form of property being exchanged between father and husband, and who would have to serve the function of reproduction. Communities exerted pressure on people to form pair-bonds in places such as [[Europe]]; in [[China]], society "demanded people get married before having a sexual relationship"<ref name="twsDecI22bb">{{cite news
 |title= Parents explore dating scene for choosy children
 |newspaper= China Daily
 |quote= ... in earlier times society demanded people get married before having a sexual relationship.
 |date= 2005-11-11
 |url= http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-11/11/content_493925.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2010-04-29
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20100429155251/http://www.chinadaily.com.cn/english/doc/2005-11/11/content_493925.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> and many societies found that some formally recognized bond between a man and a woman was the best way of rearing and educating [[child]]ren as well as helping to avoid conflicts and misunderstandings regarding competition for mates.

[[File:DickseeRomeoandJuliet.jpg|thumb|right|upright|The clandestine meeting between Romeo and Juliet in [[Romeo and Juliet|Shakespeare's play]]. Painting by [[Frank Dicksee|Sir Frank Dicksee]], 1884]]
Generally, during much of recorded history of humans in civilization, and into the [[Middle Ages]] in [[Europe]], marriages were seen as [[business]] arrangements between families, while romance was something that happened outside of marriage discreetly, such as covert meetings.<ref name=twsDecH34a /> The 12th-century book ''[[De amore (Andreas Capellanus)|The Art of Courtly Love]]'' advised that "True love can have no place between husband and wife".<ref name=twsDecH34a>{{cite news
 |title= Raw dater
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= ..."True love can have no place between husband and wife," ...
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2013-11-09
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20131109135030/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> According to one view, clandestine meetings between men and women, generally outside of marriage or before marriage, were the precursors to today's courtship.<ref name=twsDecH34a />

From about 1700 a worldwide{{Citation needed|date=March 2023|reason=Worldwide? Or only in Europe?}} movement perhaps described as the "empowerment of the individual"{{Citation needed|date=March 2023}} took hold, leading towards greater emancipation of women and equality of individuals. Men and women became more equal politically, financially, and socially in many nations. In the early 20th centuries, women gradually won the [[Women's suffrage|right to vote]] starting in the first [[sovereign nation]] [[Norway]] in 1913, and to own property and receive [[Equality before the law|equal treatment by the law]], and these changes had profound impacts on the relationships between men and women and parental influence declined. In many societies, individuals could decide—on their own—whether they should marry, whom they should marry, and when they should marry in a "courtship ritual where young women entertained gentleman callers, usually in the home, under the watchful eye of a [[Chaperone (social)|chaperone]]",<ref>{{cite news
 |author= Brenda Wilson
 |title= Sex Without Intimacy: No Dating, No Relationships
 |work= National Public Radio
 |quote= Dating itself ... evolved out of a courtship ritual where young women entertained gentleman callers, usually in the home, ...
 |date= June 8, 2009
 |url= https://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2010-11-25
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20101125191419/http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=105008712
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> but increasingly, in many Western countries, it became a self-initiated activity with two young people going out as a couple in public together. Still, courtship varies considerably by nation, custom, religious upbringing, technology, and social class, and important exceptions with regards to individual freedoms remain as many countries today still practice arranged marriages, request dowries, and forbid same-sex pairings. Although in many countries, movies, meals, and meeting in coffeehouses and other places is now popular, as are advice books suggesting various strategies for men and women,<ref name="twsDecH26c">{{cite news
 |author= Maureen Dowd quoting poet Dorothy Parker
 |title= What's a Modern Girl to Do?
 |newspaper= The New York Times
 |quote= ...What our grandmothers told us about playing hard to get is true. ...
 |year= 2005
 |url= https://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2011-04-10
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20110410033738/http://www.nytimes.com/2005/10/30/magazine/30feminism.html
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> in other parts of the world, such as in South Asia and many parts of the Middle East, being alone in public as a couple is not only frowned upon but can even lead to either person being socially ostracized.

The 1849 book ''The Whole Art of Polite Courtship; Or the Ladies & Gentlemen's Love Letter Writer'' exemplifies the importance of [[love letter]]s in 19th century courtship with a goal of marriage.<ref>{{Cite book |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=qrRFy1o5wKYC |title=The Whole Art of Polite Courtship; Or the Ladies & Gentlemen's Love Letter Writer: Being a Complete Collection of Information and Advice on the Subject of Love, with New Hints to be Observed for the Choice of a Husband |date=1849 |publisher=Webb. Millington & Company |language=en |access-date=2023-03-15 |archive-date=2023-03-19 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230319151007/https://books.google.com/books?id=qrRFy1o5wKYC |url-status=live }}</ref> The book contains 31 love letter samples for men and women in different careers, presumably for readers to draw inspiration when writing their own romantic correspondences. [[Etiquette]] books, such as the 1852 ''Etiquette of Courtship and Matrimony,'' detail socially appropriate ways to meet lovers, court, arrange a wedding, honeymoon, and avoid arguments.<ref>{{Cite book |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=P8hYAAAAcAAJ |title=The Etiquette of Courtship and Matrimony: with a Complete Guide to the Forms of a Wedding |date=1852 |publisher=George Routledge and Son |language=en |access-date=2023-03-15 |archive-date=2023-03-19 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20230319151014/https://books.google.com/books?id=P8hYAAAAcAAJ |url-status=live }}</ref>

In the twentieth century, courtship was sometimes seen as a precursor to marriage but it could also be considered as an end-in-itself, that is, an informal social activity akin to [[friendship]]. It generally happened in that portion of a person's life before the age of marriage,<ref name="twsDecH34b">{{cite news
 |title= Raw dater
 |newspaper= The Guardian
 |quote= 24 was the average age for a person to get married in 1851....
 |date= 24 January 2009
 |url= https://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2013-11-09
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20131109135030/http://www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle/2009/jan/24/dating-statistics
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> but as marriage became less permanent with the advent of [[divorce]], courtship could happen at other times in peoples lives as well. People became more mobile.<ref name="twsDecH24bb">{{cite news
 |author= Neil Offen
 |title= Sociologists: Internet dating on the rise
 |newspaper= The Herald-Sun
 |quote= ..."But people are moving more now, they're not getting married at 22 and they are removed from their traditional social networks for mate selection..."
 |date= February 13, 2010
 |url= http://www.allbusiness.com/humanities-social-science/sociology/13922241-1.html
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2011-09-24
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20110924023213/http://www.allbusiness.com/humanities-social-science/sociology/13922241-1.html
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> Rapidly developing [[technology]] played a huge role: new [[communication technology]] such as the [[telephone]],<ref name="twsDecIv24">{{cite news
 |author= Chester F. Jacobson
 |title= A long-ago first date: More than 60 years later, would that special girl remember me?
 |newspaper= Boston Globe
 |quote= After the movie, Finney and I took Helen home to her mother, ....
 |date= February 7, 2010
 |url= http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2010/02/07/a_long_ago_first_date/
 |access-date= 2010-12-09
 |archive-date= 2010-12-23
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20101223215521/http://www.boston.com/bostonglobe/magazine/articles/2010/02/07/a_long_ago_first_date/
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> [[Internet]]<ref name="twsDecH21b">{{cite news
 |author= Sharon Jayson
 |title= Internet changing the game of love
 |newspaper= USA Today
 |quote= "The rise of the Internet as a way of meeting people makes a bit of an end run around family," ...
 |date= 2010-02-10
 |url= https://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
 |access-date= 2010-12-08
 |archive-date= 2012-06-28
 |archive-url= https://web.archive.org/web/20120628203421/http://www.usatoday.com/LIFE/usaedition/2010-02-11-couplesmeet11_CV_U.htm
 |url-status= live
 }}</ref> and [[text messaging]]<ref name="twsDecNfaas" /> enabled rendezvous to be arranged without face-to-face contact. [[effects of the automobile on societies|Cars]] extended the range of courtship as well as enabled back-seat sexual exploration.

In the mid-twentieth century, the advent of [[birth control]] as well as safer procedures for [[abortion]] changed the equation considerably, and there was less pressure to marry as a means for satisfying sexual urges. New types of relationships formed; it was possible for people to live together without marrying and without [[children]]. Information about [[human sexuality]] grew, and with it an acceptance of all types of consensual sexual orientations is becoming more common. Today, the institution of courtship continues to evolve at a rapid rate with new possibilities and choices opening up particularly through [[online dating|online courtship]].{{Citation needed|date=August 2022}}

Humans have been compared to other species in terms of sexual behavior. [[Neurobiology|Neurobiologist]] [[Robert Sapolsky]] constructed a reproductive spectrum with opposite poles being [[Display (zoology)|tournament species]], in which males compete fiercely for reproductive privileges with females, and [[pair bond]] arrangements, in which a male and female will bond for life.<ref name="twsDecM11fss">{{cite news |author=Robert Sapolsky |year=2005 |title=Biology and Human Behavior: The Neurological Origins of Individuality, 2nd edition |publisher=The Teaching Company |url=https://www.amazon.co.uk/Biology-Human-Behavior-Neurological-Individuality/dp/B00DTUY66C |access-date=2010-12-07 |quote=(lectures on CD-audio) |archive-date=2013-08-24 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130824092905/http://www.amazon.co.uk/Biology-Human-Behavior-Neurological-Individuality/dp/B00DTUY66C |url-status=live }}</ref> According to Sapolsky, humans are somewhat in the middle of this spectrum, in the sense that humans form pair bonds, but there is the possibility of cheating or changing partners.<ref name="twsDecM11fss" /> These species-particular behavior patterns provide a context for aspects of [[human reproduction]], including courtship. However, one particularity of the human species is that pair bonds are often formed without necessarily having the intention of reproduction. In modern times, emphasis on the institution of marriage, traditionally described as a male-female bond, has obscured pair bonds formed by same-sex and transgender couples, and that many heterosexual couples also bond for life without offspring, or that often pairs that do have offspring separate. Thus, the concept of marriage is changing widely in many countries.