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Douche and Turd
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==Plot== During a [[pep rally]] at South Park Elementary, demonstrators for [[People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals|PETA]] protest the use of a cow as the school's mascot. As a result, South Park Elementary has to adopt a new mascot, for which the students are told to vote. Embarrassed by the bland choices, [[Kyle Broflovski]] jokingly suggests that one of the choices be a "giant douche", while [[Eric Cartman]] instead suggests a "turd sandwich". Eventually, the two joke candidates get the most votes, so an election is scheduled to be held. Kyle and Cartman aggressively promote their respective candidates, using [[bribery]] and [[fear mongering]] to gain support. [[Stan Marsh]] does not see the point in the choice between a giant douche and a turd sandwich and declares his refusal to vote. Stan tells his family about it at dinner, but [[Randy Marsh (South Park)|his]] [[Sharon Marsh|parents]] stress the importance of voting to Stan and argue over who he should vote for. Kyle, meanwhile, informs [[Sean Combs|Sean "Puff Daddy" Combs]], who, along with his entourage, intimidates Stan with threats to shoot him dead. Stan agrees to vote in response to the threats, but when he is about to vote for Turd Sandwich, Kyle demands Stan to vote for Giant Douche instead. Disgusted with everyone's actions, Stan again refuses to vote. The school administration decides that Stan must be exiled from town until he realizes the importance of voting. Stan is publicly shamed by the townspeople, bound with a bucket over his head, and placed on a horse, which leaves the town to roam while carrying Stan. Stan and the horse are eventually approached by PETA members, who lead them to their compound. Stan finds that the compound's inhabitants live closely with the animals, practicing [[zoophilia|bestality]] and interbreeding with them. Stan explains his banishment to the PETA members, who explain to him that an election is always between a "douche" and a "turd" because they are the only candidates who adulate enough to get that far in politics. Combs appears to kill Stan, but is distracted by a PETA member who stains his fur coat. Combs and his entourage retaliate by murdering all the PETA members, while sparing the animals. Stan is wounded by a stray bullet but manages to escape. Returning to South Park, Stan is finally convinced to vote and casts a ballot for Turd Sandwich. Despite his vote, Giant Douche still wins the election, 1,410 to 36. Stan incredulously points out that his vote did not matter, but Randy and Sharon tell him that all votes matter, even if it is for the losing candidate. [[Mr. Garrison]] arrives at school and alerts everyone of the PETA members' murders. As a result, the cow is reinstated as the school mascot. Randy tells Stan that "now" his vote did not matter, leaving the latter irritated and feeling that the election was indeed pointless.
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