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How to be an Alien
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== Synopsis == The book is in two parts. The first part, "How to be a General Alien", deals with such important English topics as the weather, tea, how not to be clever (since it is considered bad manners), how to compromise, and queueing (according to Mikes, the national passion). The chapter entitled "Sex" is in its entirety as follows. <blockquote>Continental people have sex lives: the English have hot water bottles.</blockquote> The second part, "How to be a Particular Alien", describes particular occupations from [[Bloomsbury]] intellectual to bus driver, finishing with how to be a [[Naturalization#United Kingdom|naturalised citizen]], which includes the eating of [[porridge]] for breakfast, and alleging that you like it. Mikes subsequently wrote ''How to be Inimitable'' (1960) and ''How to be Decadent'' (1977). All three books were published in one volume in 1984 as ''How to be a Brit''.
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