Editing Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (section)

==Plot==
[[Clerks (film)|Dante Hicks and Randal Graves]] get a [[restraining order]] against [[Jay and Silent Bob]], finally fed up with their [[Illegal drug trade|drug dealing]] outside the strip mall where they work after Jay and Silent Bob tell a pair of teenagers that they were married in a [[Star Wars]]-themed wedding. Not allowed within 100 feet of the strip mall for at least a year, Jay and Silent Bob visit [[Mallrats|Brodie Bruce]] at his comic shop where they learn that [[Miramax Films]] is adapting ''[[Bluntman and Chronic]]'', the comic book based on their likenesses.

The pair visit [[Chasing Amy|Holden McNeil]], co-creator and co-writer of ''Bluntman and Chronic'', and demand that he give them their royalty money from the film, but Holden explains he sold his half of the rights to co-creator and artist Banky Edwards. Seeing the film's negative reception online,<ref>{{cite web |url=http://asitecalledfred.com/old/story.html |title=Movie Poop Shoot - the Poop Scoop |access-date=2013-07-03 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20120626183925/http://www.asitecalledfred.com/old/story.html |archive-date=June 26, 2012 |df=mdy-all }}</ref> the pair set out for [[Hollywood, Los Angeles|Hollywood]] to prevent the film from ruining their image, or at least to receive the royalties owed to them.

En route, they befriend an animal liberation group: Justice, Sissy, Missy, Chrissy, and Brent. The organization is a front; Brent is a [[Scapegoat|patsy]], who will free animals from a laboratory as a diversion while the girls rob a diamond depository. Jay throws Brent out of their van to get closer to Justice, to whom he is attracted to. Justice is fond of the pair, but reluctantly accepts them as new patsies. While the girls steal the diamonds, Jay and Silent Bob free the animals, stealing an [[orangutan]] named Suzanne. They escape as the police arrive and the van explodes, believing the girls have perished.

Federal Wildlife Marshal Willenholly (whose name is taken from [[Land of the Lost (1974 TV series)|''Land of the Lost'' characters]] {{ref|b}}) arrives at the crime scene; oblivious to the diamond heist, he claims jurisdiction due to the escaped animals, all of which have been recovered but Suzanne. The police find footage of a video Sissy made of Jay claiming to be "the [[Clitoris|clit]] commander", with "Clit" edited to be an acronym for ''Coalition for the Liberation of Itinerant Tree-Dwellers''. Willenholly declares the crime an act of [[terrorism]] and calls for backup to hunt "the two most dangerous men on the planet." He finds Jay and Silent Bob at a diner near [[Vasquez Rocks]], and chases them into the sewer system of a nearby dam. Suzanne helps the duo in losing Willenholly by luring him off the dam, but is subsequently abducted by a Hollywood animal acting agency.

The duo then hitch a ride and arrive in Hollywood, and eventually, the Miramax lot. Chased by a team of security guards through the lot and several movie sets, including ''Good Will Hunting 2: Hunting Season'', and reclaiming Suzanne from the set of [[Scream (film series)|''Scream 4'']], Jay and Silent Bob end up in the dressing room of [[Jason Biggs]] and [[James Van Der Beek]], the actors playing Bluntman and Chronic respectively in the film. Suzanne beats up the actors, knocking them out, and Jay and Silent Bob assume the roles while Van Der Beek and Biggs are arrested after getting mistaken for the duo.

Meeting the film's anti-white director Chaka Luther King, who mistakes them for Biggs and Van Der Beek's stunt doubles, Jay and Silent Bob are then escorted onto the set and forced to fight [[Mark Hamill]], playing the supervillain of the film Cocknocker (a combination of Hamill's roles as [[The Joker]], [[Trickster (comics)#Television|The Trickster]], and [[Luke Skywalker]]) in a Star Wars-esque battle. Willenholly, armed with a shotgun, arrives to capture the pair, but Justice protects them, admitting the CLIT organization was only a diversion. The other thieves arrive and a climactic gun fight ensues. Jay and Silent Bob locate Banky and demand that he shut down production of the movie. Banky refuses on account of both the large sum of money Miramax offered him for the film and that the internet will continue to troll them regardless. Silent Bob then informs Banky that he violated their original likeness rights contract by selling the film rights of Bluntman and Chronic to Miramax without their permission, and therefore could face legal trouble if he doesn't give them their legally entitled royalties. Banky finally relents and agrees to give the duo half of his payment for the film.

Justice then turns herself and her former team in to Willenholly in exchange for a shorter sentence and dropping the charges on Jay and Silent Bob. The duo spend their royalty money locating everyone who mocked them, their characters, and the movie on the internet, including children and members of the clergy, and travel to assault them. The scene cuts to the El Rey theater where a bunch of people exit, including Dante, Randal, Banky, Steve-Dave Pulski, Walt "The Fanboy" Grover, Willam Black, Hooper LaMonte, and sisters Alyssa and Tricia Jones, having just watched the ''Bluntman and Chronic'' movie, to poor reception. Jay and Silent Bob, accompanied by Justice and Willenholly (now an FBI agent), go across the street to enjoy the after party, featuring a performance from [[Morris Day]] and [[The Time (band)|The Time]].

After the credits, God (''[[Dogma (film)|Dogma]]'') closes the [[View Askewniverse]] book.{{ref|a}}