Editing Limerence (section)

==Overview==
[[Dorothy Tennov]]'s concept represents an attempt at studying the scientific nature of romantic love.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=x-xi}}</ref> She identified a suite of psychological traits associated with being in love, which she called limerence.<ref name="fisher1998">{{cite journal |last1=Fisher |first1=Helen |date=March 1998 |title=Lust, attraction, and attachment in mammalian reproduction |url=https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12110-998-1010-5 |url-status=live |journal=[[Human Nature (journal)|Human Nature]] |volume=9 |issue=1 |pages=23–52 |doi=10.1007/s12110-998-1010-5 |pmid=26197356 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240218185335/https://link.springer.com/article/10.1007/s12110-998-1010-5 |archive-date=18 February 2024 |access-date=18 February 2024|url-access=subscription }}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=16,23–24}}</ref> Other authors have also considered limerence to be an emotional and motivational state for focusing attention on a preferred mating partner<ref name="fisher2002">{{cite journal |last1=Fisher |first1=Helen |last2=Aron |first2=Arthur |last3=Mashek |first3=Debra |last4=Li |first4=Haifang |last5=Brown |first5=Lucy |date=October 2002 |title=Defining the Brain Systems of Lust, Romantic Attraction, and Attachment |url=https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1019888024255 |url-status=live |journal=[[Archives of Sexual Behavior]] |volume=31 |issue=5 |pages=413–419 |doi=10.1023/A:1019888024255 |pmid=12238608 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240218185715/https://link.springer.com/article/10.1023/A:1019888024255 |archive-date=18 February 2024 |access-date=18 February 2024|url-access=subscription }}: "In humans, the attraction system (standardly called romantic love, obsessive love, passionate love, being in love, infatuation, or limerence) is also characterized by feelings of exhilaration, 'intrusive thinking' about the love object, and a craving for emotional union with this partner or potential partner. [...] [A] list of 13 psychophysiological properties often associated with this excitatory state was compiled (see Fisher, 1998; Hatfield & Sprecher, 1986; Harris, 1995; Tennov, 1979). [...] Then 72-item questionnaire was compiled, based on these common properties [...]. [...] So this questionnaire was subsequently administered (along with several others) to all participants prior to their participation in Phase II of this study which involved fMRI of the brains of individuals who reported that they had 'just fallen madly in love.'"</ref> or an [[Attachment theory|attachment]] process.<ref name="hazanshaver">{{cite journal | url=https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1987-21950-001 | journal=[[Journal of Personality and Social Psychology]] | last1=Hazan | first1=Cindy | last2=Shaver | first2=Phillip | date=April 1987 | title=Romantic love conceptualized as an attachment process | volume=52 | issue=3 | pages=511–524 | doi=10.1037/0022-3514.52.3.511 | pmid=3572722 | access-date=23 March 2024 | archive-date=18 April 2024 | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240418091229/https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1987-21950-001 | url-status=live | url-access=subscription }}</ref><ref name="feeneynoller">{{cite journal |last1=Feeney |first1=Judith |last2=Noller |first2=Patricia |date=1990 |title=Attachment style as a predictor of adult romantic relationships |url=https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1990-14609-001 |url-status=live |journal=[[Journal of Personality and Social Psychology]] |volume=58 |issue=2 |pages=281–291 |doi=10.1037/0022-3514.58.2.281 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240323151721/https://psycnet.apa.org/record/1990-14609-001 |archive-date=23 March 2024 |access-date=23 March 2024|url-access=subscription }}</ref>

[[Joe Beam]] calls limerence the feeling of being madly in love.<ref name=":13">{{Cite news |last=Domingo |first=Katrina |date=23 June 2021 |title=Fairytale or pilit-tale? Experts spill why men rush into marriage after long-term relationships |url=https://news.abs-cbn.com/life/06/23/21/fairytale-or-pilit-tale-experts-spill-why-men-rush-to-marriage-after-long-term-relationships |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240924025210/https://news.abs-cbn.com/life/06/23/21/fairytale-or-pilit-tale-experts-spill-why-men-rush-to-marriage-after-long-term-relationships |archive-date=24 September 2024 |access-date=23 September 2024 |work=[[ABS-CBN]]}}</ref><ref name="beam-limerence-fisher"/> [[Nicky Hayes]] describes it as "a kind of infatuated, all-absorbing passion", the type of love [[Dante Alighieri|Dante]] felt towards [[Beatrice Portinari|Beatrice]] or that of [[Romeo and Juliet]].<ref name="Hayes">{{Citation |last1 = Hayes |first1 = Nicky |title = Foundations of Psychology |publisher = Thomson Learning |place = London |edition = 3rd |year = 2000 |isbn = 1861525893 | pages=457–458}}</ref> It is this unfulfilled, intense longing for the other person which defines limerence, where the individual becomes "more or less obsessed by that person and spends much of their time fantasising about them".<ref name="Hayes"/> Hayes suggests that "it is the unobtainable nature of the goal which makes the feeling so powerful", and occasional, [[intermittent reinforcement]] may be required to support the underlying feelings.<ref name="Hayes"/> [[Frank Tallis]] calls limerence "love that does not need liking - love that may even thrive in response to rejection or contempt" and notes the "striking similarities" with [[addiction]].<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=93}}</ref><ref name="tallis-addict"/>

A central feature of limerence for Tennov was the fact that her participants really saw the object of their affection's personal flaws, but simply overlooked them or found them attractive.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=24,29–33}}</ref><ref name="Fisher 2016 21">{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=21}}</ref> Tennov calls this "[[crystallization (love)|crystallization]]", after a description by the French writer [[Stendhal]]. This "crystallized" version of a love object, with accentuated features, is what Tennov calls a "limerent object", or "LO".<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=29–33}}</ref>

Limerence has psychological properties akin to [[passionate love]],<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=116,172,56,282}}</ref><ref name=":4">{{harvnb|Hatfield|1988|pp=193–194,197}}</ref><ref name="fisher2002" /> but in Tennov's conception, limerence begins outside of a relationship and before the person experiencing it knows for certain whether it's reciprocated.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1998|pp=78–79}}</ref><ref name=":6" /> Tennov observes that limerence is therefore frequently unrequited<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=133}}</ref><ref name="Hayes"/> and argues that some type of situational uncertainty is required for the intense mental preoccupation to occur.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=44,54–57}}</ref> Uncertainty could be, for example, barriers to the fulfillment of a relationship such as physical or emotional distance from the LO,<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=56–57,11–13,82–87}}</ref> or uncertainty about how the LO reciprocates the feeling.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=56,91–104}}</ref> Some people may also [[Fear of intimacy|fear intimacy]] so that they distance themselves and avoid a real connection.<ref name=":17" />

Not everyone experiences limerence.<ref name=":15">{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=13–15}}</ref> Tennov estimates that 50% of women and 35% of men experience limerence based on answers to certain survey questions she administered.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=209–210,212}}</ref> A 2025 study found that of the 29.42% of currently in love people who were categorized as intense romantic lovers, 28.57% of them fell in love before their relationship.<ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |last2=Kavanagh |first2=Phillip S. |date=2025-06-01 |title=Variation exists in the expression of romantic love: A cluster analytic study of young adults experiencing romantic love |url=https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S0191886925000704 |journal=Personality and Individual Differences |volume=239 |pages=113108 |doi=10.1016/j.paid.2025.113108 |issn=0191-8869}}</ref>

[[Severus Snape]]'s love for [[Lily Evans]], the mother of [[Harry Potter]], is a modern fictional representation of limerence.<ref>{{Cite news |last=Chong |first=Elaine |date=14 March 2024 |title=What If Profound Lovesickness Isn't Romantic? |url=https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/what-if-profound-lovesickness-isn-t-romantic/ar-BB1jSlY6 |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20240925033416/https://www.msn.com/en-us/lifestyle/lifestyle-buzz/what-if-profound-lovesickness-isn-t-romantic/ar-BB1jSlY6 |archive-date=25 September 2024 |access-date=24 September 2024 |work=[[Esquire (magazine)|Esquire]]}}</ref> A famous historical example was the tumultuous affair between [[Lord Byron]] and [[Lady Caroline Lamb]].<ref name="time">{{cite magazine |last= (unknown) |first= Wanda |date= 21 January 1980 |title=Let's Fall in Limerence |magazine=[[Time (magazine)|Time]] |publisher=Time Inc. |url=http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,952554,00.html |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080327181137/http://www.time.com/time/magazine/article/0,9171,952554,00.html |url-status=dead |archive-date=27 March 2008 |access-date=16 October 2008}}</ref>

Limerence can be difficult to understand for those who have never experienced it, and it is thus often derided and dismissed as undesirable, some kind of pathology, ridiculous fantasy or a construct of romantic fiction.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=x,14,110–118,166–185}}</ref> According to Tennov, limerence is not a [[mental illness]], although it can be "highly disruptive and extremely painful", "irrational, silly, embarrassing, and abnormal" or sometimes "the greatest happiness" depending on who is asked.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|2005|pages=14,20}}</ref>