Editing Open marriage (section)

==Terminology==
A general definition of an open marriage is that there is an agreement between the two partners to have some degree of sexual interaction outside the couple.<ref name=":1">{{Cite web|url=https://public.ebookcentral.proquest.com/choice/publicfullrecord.aspx?p=1574426|title=The Polyamorists Next Door: Inside Multiple-Partner Relationships and Families|last=Sheff|first=Elisabeth|website=[[ProQuest]]|access-date=2019-02-27}}{{Dead link|date=September 2021 |bot=InternetArchiveBot |fix-attempted=yes }}</ref> There are variant forms of open marriage, each with the partners having varying levels of input on their spouse's activities.

The term ''open marriage'' originated in sociology and anthropology. Through the 1960s, researchers used "closed marriage" to indicate the practices of communities and cultures where individuals were intended to marry based upon social conventions and proscriptions, and open marriage where individuals had the ability to make their own choice of spouse.<ref name="Johnson, 1960">Johnson, H.M. (1960). ''Sociology: A Systematic Introduction''. New York, NY: Harcourt, Brace and World, Inc.</ref><ref name="Jacobsohn, Matheny, 1963">Jacobsohn, P., & Matheny, A.P. (1963). Mate selection in open marriage systems. In K. Ishwaran and J.M. Mogey (Eds.), Family and Marriage (pp. 98-123). Leiden, The Netherlands: E.J. Brill, Publisher.</ref>

''Open Marriage: A New Life Style for Couples'' was a best selling book published by M. Evans & Company in 1972 by Nena O'Neill and George O'Neill. It was on the ''New York Times'' Best Seller list for 40 weeks.<ref name="auto" /> It has been translated into 14 languages and has sold more than 35 million copies worldwide according to the publisher.<ref name="auto" /> The book changed the meaning of the term. The O'Neills describe open marriage as a relationship in which each partner has room for personal growth and can individually develop outside friendships, rather than focus obsessively on their couplehood and their family unit (being "closed"). Most of the book describes approaches to revitalizing marriage in areas of trust, role flexibility, communication, identity, and equality. Chapter 16, entitled "Love Without Jealousy", devoted 20 pages to the proposition that an open marriage might possibly include some forms of sexuality with other partners. Fueled by frequent appearances of the O'Neills on television and in magazine articles, the redefinition entered popular consciousness, and open marriage became a synonym for sexually non-monogamous marriage.

In her 1977 book ''The Marriage Premise'', Nena O'Neill advocated sexual fidelity in a chapter of that name. As she later said, "The whole area of extramarital sex is touchy. I don't think we ever saw it as a concept for the majority, and certainly it has not proved to be."<ref name="auto">{{cite news|url=https://www.nytimes.com/2006/03/26/books/25oneill.html|title=Nena O'Neill, 82, an Author of 'Open Marriage,' Is Dead|first=Margalit|last=Fox|date=26 March 2006|newspaper=The New York Times}}</ref>

===Definitional issues===
The meaning of open marriage can vary from study to study depending on how the particular researchers have set their selection criteria.

Individuals might claim to have open marriages when their spouses would not agree. Studies and articles that interview individuals without taking their married status into account may not receive accurate information about the actual "open" status of the marriage. Blumstein and Schwartz asked more than 6,000 couples whether or not they had an understanding allowing sex outside their relationship. Interviewed individually, the partners in some couples gave very different responses to this question; the respective replies from one married couple were

* "We've never spoken about cheating, but neither of us believe in it. I don't think I'd ever forgive him. I don't think I'd be able to. I don't know. I haven't met up with that situation." (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983, p. 287).<ref name="Blumstein, Schwartz, 1983"/>
* "Sure we have an understanding. It's 'You do what you want. Never go back to the same one.' See, that's where it's going to screw your mind up, to go back the second time to the same person." (Blumstein & Schwartz, 1983, p. 286).<ref name="Blumstein, Schwartz, 1983"/>

Couples may have an open marriage in principle, but not engage in extramarital sex. Studies that define open marriage by agreement alone will tend to report a higher incidence than studies that define open marriage by agreement and behavior. Spaniel and Cole found that 7 percent of couples would consider participating in an open marriage, but only 1.7 percent of couples reported having open marriages that actually included extramarital sex.<ref name="Spanier, Cole, 1975">Spanier G.B., & Cole, C. L. (1975). Mate swapping: Perceptions, value orientations, and participation in a midwestern community. Archives of Sexual Behavior, 4, 143–159.</ref> 
Blumstein and Schwartz found that 15 percent of married couples share an agreement that allows extramarital sex, but only about 24 percent of men and 22 percent of women (or 6 percent and 5 percent of the total, respectively) who had such an agreement actually engaged in extramarital sex during the prior year. 
<ref name="Blumstein, Schwartz, 1983"/>

Researchers have applied open marriage in overly narrow terms, as when Hunt used it specifically to mean swinging couples who meet with other swinging couples to swap mates.<ref name="Hunt, 1974">Hunt, M. (1974). Sexual Behavior in the 1970s. Chicago, IL: Playboy Press.</ref>

Open marriage is usually defined in terms of legally married, opposite-sex partners, and thus data collected may not generalize to other kinds of open relationships. For example, cohabiting couples tend to show higher levels of involvement in extra-relational intimacy compared to married couples.<ref name="Blumstein, Schwartz, 1983"/><ref name="Forste, Tanfer, 1996">Forste, R., & Tanfer, K. (1996). Sexual exclusivity among dating, cohabitating, and married women. ''Journal of Marriage and the Family'', 58, 33–47.</ref><ref name="Treas, Giesen, 2000">Treas, J., & Giesen, D. (2000). Sexual infidelity among married and cohabitating Americans. ''Journal of Marriage and the Family'', 62, 48–60.</ref>  
Gay male couples show very high levels of open relationships compared to straight couples.<ref name="Blumstein, Schwartz, 1983"/>

There is a lack of content regarding studies and educational programming in open marriage and diverse relationship structures.<ref name=":2">{{Cite journal|last1=Levine|first1=Ethan Czuy|last2=Herbenick|first2=Debby|last3=Martinez|first3=Omar|last4=Fu|first4=Tsung-Chieh|last5=Dodge|first5=Brian|date=2018-07-01|title=Open Relationships, Nonconsensual Nonmonogamy, and Monogamy Among U.S. Adults: Findings from the 2012 National Survey of Sexual Health and Behavior|journal=Archives of Sexual Behavior|language=en|volume=47|issue=5|pages=1439–1450|doi=10.1007/s10508-018-1178-7|issn=1573-2800|pmc=5958351|pmid=29696552}}</ref> Due to this, there is much uncertainty regarding the topic.

Common misconceptions of nonmonogamy<ref>{{Cite web|url=https://public.ebookcentral.proquest.com/choice/publicfullrecord.aspx?p=1574426|title=A Therapist's Guide to Consensual Nonmonogamy : Polyamory, Swinging, and Open Marriage|last=Orion|first=Rhea|website=[[ProQuest]]|access-date=2019-02-27}}{{Dead link|date=September 2021 |bot=InternetArchiveBot |fix-attempted=yes }}</ref> include that it violates principles of all religions, and that it is equivalent to polygyny (one man having multiple wives) or polygamy (a marriage of many).<ref name=":1" />

===Ideals of an open marriage===

*Here-and-now living combined with realistic expectations: There is a reduction of commitment to and sacrifice in the long-term goals.
*Personal privacy: A greater respect for personal privacy than in a traditional marriage.
*Open and honest communication: sharing, self-disclosure, and productive fighting.
*Role flexibility: open partners exhibit this considerably.
*Open companionship: avoiding traditional marriage assumptions of coupledness. This may involve the development of deep personal, sexual relationships with other members outside their marriage.
*Equality: equality of power as well as responsibility.
*Pursuit of identity: An individual's uniqueness is valued, differences are not seen as a threat.
*Mutual trust: an assumption that everything is out on the open and that one's partner is not a possession that is guarded.<ref name=":0">{{Cite journal|last=Wachowiak|first=Dale|date=February 1980|title=Open Marriage and Marital Adjustment|journal=Journal of Family and Marriage|volume=42|issue=1|pages=57–62|jstor=351933|doi=10.2307/351933}}</ref>