Editing Sadness (section)

== Childhood ==
[[File:Paolo Monti - Serie fotografica (Venezia, 1953) - BEIC 6363533.jpg|thumb|left|upright=0.7|Sad girls. Photo by [[Paolo Monti]], 1953]]

Sadness is a common experience in childhood. Sometimes, sadness can lead to [[Depression (mood)|depression]]. Some families may have a (conscious or unconscious) rule that sadness is "not allowed",<ref>{{cite book |last=Masman |first=Karen |title=The Uses of Sadness: Why Feeling Sad is No Reason Not to be Happy |date=21 July 2010 |publisher=[[Allen & Unwin]] |page=8 |isbn=9781741757576}}</ref> but [[Robin Skynner]] has suggested that this may cause problems, arguing that with sadness "screened off", people can become shallow and [[Mania|manic]].<ref name="sky-clee-fams">{{cite book |last1=Skynner |first1=Robin |last2=Cleese |first2=John |year=1994 |title=Families and How to Survive Them |author-link=Robin Skynner |title-link=Families and How to Survive Them }}</ref>{{rp|33; 36}} Pediatrician [[T. Berry Brazelton]] suggests that acknowledging sadness can make it easier for families to address more serious emotional problems.<ref name="brazelton-listen-child">{{cite book |last=Brazelton |first=T. Berry |date=1992 |title=To Listen to a Child |author-link=T. Berry Brazelton }}</ref>{{rp|46; 48}}

Sadness is part of the normal process of the child separating from an early symbiosis with the mother and becoming more independent. Every time a child separates a little more, he or she will have to cope with a small loss. If the mother cannot allow the minor distress involved, the child may never learn how to deal with sadness by themselves.<ref name="sky-clee-fams" />{{rp|158–9}} Brazelton argues that too much cheering a child up devalues the emotion of sadness for them;<ref name="brazelton-listen-child" />{{rp|52}} and [[Selma Fraiberg]] suggests that it is important to respect a child's right to experience a loss fully and deeply.<ref>{{cite book |last=Fraiberg |first=Selma H. |date=1987 |title=The Magic Years |location=New York, United States |page=274 |author-link=Selma Fraiberg }}</ref>

[[Margaret Mahler]] also saw the ability to feel sadness as an emotional achievement, as opposed for example to warding it off through restless hyperactivity.<ref>{{cite book |last1=Mahler |first1=Margaret S. |last2=Pine |first2=Fred |last3=Bergman |first3=Annl |date=1975 |title=The Psychological Birth of the Human Infant: Symbiosis and Individuation |url=https://archive.org/details/psychologicalbir00mahl|url-access=registration |publisher=Basic Books |location=New York |page=[https://archive.org/details/psychologicalbir00mahl/page/92 92] |isbn=9780465066599 |author-link1=Margaret Mahler }}</ref> [[D. W. Winnicott]] similarly saw in sad crying the psychological root of valuable musical experiences in later life.<ref>{{cite book |last=Winnicott |first=D.W. |date=1973 |title=The Child, the Family, and the Outside World |location=United Kingdom |publisher=[[Penguin Books]] |page=64 }}</ref>