Editing Teasing (section)

==Nature==
A common form of teasing is verbal bullying or [[taunt]]ing. This behavior is intended to distract, disturb, offend, sadden, anger, bother, irritate, or annoy the recipient. Because it is hurtful, it is different from joking and is generally accompanied by some degree of [[social rejection]]. Teasing can also be taken to mean "To make fun of; mock playfully" or be sarcastic about and use sarcasm.

[[Dacher Keltner]] uses Penelope Brown's classic study on the difference between "on-record" and "off-record" communication to illustrate how people must learn to read others' tone of voice and facial expressions in order to learn appropriate responses to teasing.<ref>{{cite news|url=https://www.nytimes.com/2008/12/07/magazine/07teasing-t.html|last=Keltner|first= Dacher|date=December 5, 2008|title=In defense of teasing|newspaper= The New York Times}}</ref>

A form of teasing that is usually overlooked is educational teasing. This form is commonly used by parents and caregivers in two [[Indigenous peoples of the Americas|Indigenous American communities]] and Mexican Heritage communities to guide their children into responding with more [[Prosocial behavior]]. For example, when a parent teases a child who is throwing a tantrum for a piece of candy, the parent will pretend to give the child candy but then take it away and ask the child to correct their behavior before giving the child that piece of candy. In this way, the parent teaches the child the importance of maintaining self-control.<ref>{{cite magazine|last=Gray|first=Peter|title=The Educative Value of Teasing|url=http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/freedom-learn/201301/the-educative-value-teasing-0|magazine=Psychology Today|access-date=13 May 2014}}</ref> When adults educate children through teasing, they are informally teaching the children. This type of learning is often overlooked because it is different from the way Western American Communities teach their children.{{citation needed|date=November 2014}}

Another form of teasing is to pretend to give something which the other desires, or give it very slowly. This is usually done by arousing curiosity or desire, and may not actually involve the intent to satisfy or disclose. This form of teasing could be called "tantalizing", after the story of [[Tantalus]]. Tantalizing is generally playful among adults, although among children it can be hurtful, such as when one child acquires possession of another's property and will not return it. It is also common in flirting and dating. For example, a person who is interested in someone else romantically might reject an advance the first time in order to arouse interest and curiosity, and give in the second or third time.

Whether teasing is playful or hurtful or educative is largely subject to the interpretation of the person being teased. If the person being teased feels harmed, then the teasing is hurtful. A difference in [[power (sociology)|power]] between people may also make the behavior hurtful rather than playful. Ultimately though, if someone perceives themselves as the victim of teasing, and experiences the teasing as unpleasant, then it is considered hurtful. If parents' intentions are positive, as in many [[Indigenous peoples of the Americas|Indigenous American communities]], then teasing to the community can be seen as an educational tool. The child may or may not understand that at the moment. If the other person continues to do it after being asked to stop then it is a form of bullying or abuse.

Another way to look at teasing is as an honest reflection on differences, expressed in a joking fashion with the goal of "clearing the air". It can express comfort with the other which can be comforting. As opposed to being nice to someone's face while making disparaging remarks behind their back, teasing can be a way to express differences in a direct fashion rather than internalizing them.