Editing Limerence (section)

=== Love styles ===
[[Colour wheel theory of love|Love styles]] are a concept invented by the [[Sociology|sociologist]] [[John Alan Lee]] which can be understood as different ways to love, or different kinds of love stories.<ref name=":20">{{Cite journal |last=Lee |first=John Alan |date=1977b |title=A Typology of Styles of Loving |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/014616727700300204 |journal=Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin |language=en |volume=3 |issue=2 |pages=173–182 |doi=10.1177/014616727700300204 |issn=0146-1672|url-access=subscription }}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=1}}</ref> Limerence is sometimes considered similar or related to the love style mania (or manic love), named after the Greek ''theia mania'' (the madness from the gods).<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=41–43,93}}</ref><ref name="feeneynoller" /><ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=86}}</ref> Lee developed his concept of manic love in relation to some of the same sources as Tennov, such as [[Andreas Capellanus]] and [[courtly love]].<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=93}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=174–175}}</ref><ref name="Lee 1998 54–55"/>

A manic lover is obsessively preoccupied with the beloved.<ref name="Lee 1988 45">{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=45}}</ref> When asked to recall their childhood, a typical manic lover recalls it as unhappy, and they are usually lonely, dissatisfied adults.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=51}}</ref> They are anxious to fall in love; however, they are unsure of which physical type they prefer.<ref name=":20" /> Because they are unsure of who to fall in love with, they often fall in love with somebody quite inappropriate (even somebody they initially dislike) and project onto them qualities they want but do not actually have.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=102}}</ref><ref name="Lee 1988 46">{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=46}}</ref> According to Lee, "Mania can become almost an addiction nearly impossible for the addict to end on his own initiative."<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=97}}</ref> Mania is often the first love style of a young person, but others may not experience it until middle age—for example, after a marriage has lost its interest.<ref name="Lee 1988 46"/> According to Lee, a cycle of manic loves is often caused by a desperate need to be in love, the cause of which the manic lover must locate and remedy to break free.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=47}}</ref>

While Lee describes the manic lover as jealous,<ref name="Lee 1988 45"/> Tennov states that people can be limerent and not be jealous. Rather, according to Tennov, what a limerent person desires is exclusivity and this is often mistaken for jealousy.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=114}}</ref>

Among the other love styles, mania can be closely compared to eros (or erotic love). Both are often considered "romantic love", and mania and eros taken together correspond to passionate love.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=88–90}}</ref><ref name="acevedo2009" /> Like the manic lover, the erotic lover is also intensely preoccupied with their beloved, but the thoughts are optimistic while a manic lover is insecure.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=89–90,94}}</ref> Unlike a manic lover, the erotic lover is aware of which physical type they consider ideal.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=46,50}}</ref> As such, eros begins with a powerful initial attraction, referred to by [[Stendhal]] as "a sudden sensation of recognition and hope".<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=10–11}}</ref> Because the erotic lover is in search of an ideal, the eros love style is ''not'' "blind".<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=43}}</ref> According to Lee, only manic lovers typically "crystallize" and ignore the shortcomings and flaws of their beloved.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=22}}</ref> The erotic lover also recalls their childhood as happy and eros has been associated with secure attachment, while mania has been associated with attachment anxiety and [[neuroticism]].<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=50}}</ref><ref>{{Cite journal |last=Karandashev |first=Victor |date=December 2022 |title=Adaptive and Maladaptive Love Attitudes |url=https://interpersona.psychopen.eu/index.php/interpersona/article/view/6283 |journal=Interpersona: An International Journal on Personal Relationships |volume=16 |issue=2 |pages=158–177 |doi=10.5964/ijpr.6283 |doi-access=free}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Hendrick|Hendrick|2006|p=156}}</ref> A third love style, manic eros, is a mixture of the two, where the lover is "moving either toward a more stable eros or toward full-blown mania". Some are typical erotic lovers under a temporary strain (moving toward mania), while others are typical manic lovers with a self-confident and helping partner (moving toward eros).<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=170-172}}</ref>

According to Lee, the love style ludus (noncommittal love as a game, avoidance and juggling multiple partners) and mania possess a "fatal attraction" for one another. It's surprisingly common, but not a good match for happy, mutual love.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|pp=44–45,50,54}}</ref>