Editing Interpersonal attraction (section)

=== Complementarity theory===
The model of [[:wikt:complementarity|complementarity]] explains whether "[[:wikt:birds of a feather flock together|birds of a feather flock together]]" or "[[:wikt:opposites attract|opposites attract]]."

Studies show that complementary interaction between two partners increases their attractiveness to each other. Complementary partners preferred closer interpersonal relationship.<ref>{{cite journal | doi = 10.1016/0092-6566(91)90023-J | last1 = Nowicki | first1 = S. Jr. | last2 = Manheim | first2 = S. | year = 1991 | title = Interpersonal complementarity and time of interaction in female relationships | journal = Journal of Research in Personality | volume = 25 | issue = 3| pages = 322–333 }}</ref> Couples who reported the highest level of loving and harmonious relationship were more dissimilar in dominance than couples who scored lower in relationship quality.<ref name=markey2007>{{cite journal | doi = 10.1177/0265407507079241 | last1 = Markey | first1 = P.M. | last2 = Markey | first2 = C. N. | year = 2007 | title = Romantic ideals, romantic obtainment, and relationship experiences: The complementarity of interpersonal traits among romantic partners | journal = [[Journal of Social and Personal Relationships]] | volume = 24 | issue = 4 | pages = 517–533 | s2cid = 8211291 | url = http://bernard.pitzer.edu/~dmoore/2007_MarkeyMarkey_JSPR_complementarity.pdf | access-date = 2018-01-19 | archive-date = 2017-08-09 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20170809001610/http://bernard.pitzer.edu/~dmoore/2007_markeymarkey_jspr_complementarity.pdf | url-status = dead }}</ref>

Mathes and Moore (1985) found that people were more attracted to peers approximating to their ideal self than to those who did not. Specifically, low self-esteem individuals appeared more likely to desire a complementary relationship than high self-esteem people.<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Mathes | first1 = E. W. | last2 = Moore | first2 = C. L. | year = 1985 | title = Reik's complementarily theory of romantic love | journal = [[The Journal of Social Psychology]] | volume = 125 | issue = 3| pages = 321–327 | doi = 10.1080/00224545.1985.9922893 }}</ref> We are attracted to people who complement us because this allows us to maintain our preferred style of behavior,<ref name=markey2007 /> and interaction with someone who complements our own behavior likely confers a sense of self-validation and security.<ref>{{cite book | last=Carson | first=Robert C. | title=Interaction concepts of personality | year=1969 | publisher=Aldine Pub. Co.}}</ref>{{page needed|date=January 2018}}

====Similarity or complementarity====
Principles of similarity and complementarity seem to be contradictory on the surface.<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Posavac | first1 = E. J. | year = 1971 | title = Dimensions of trait preferences and personality type | journal = Journal of Personality and Social Psychology | volume = 19 | issue = 3| pages = 274–281 | doi=10.1037/h0031467| pmid = 5120018 }}</ref><ref>{{cite journal | doi = 10.1177/0146167298243004 | last1 = Klohnen | first1 = E. C. | last2 = Mendelsohn | first2 = G. A. | year = 1998 | title = Partner Selection for Personality Characteristics: A Couple-Centered Approach | journal = [[Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin]] | volume = 24 | issue = 3| pages = 268–278 | s2cid = 143481185 }}</ref> In fact, they agree on the dimension of warmth. Both principles state that friendly people would prefer friendly partners.<ref name=horowitz1997>{{cite book | last1=M. Horowitz | first1=Leonard | title=Circumplex models of personality and emotions | pages=347–384 | last2=Dryer | first2=Christopher | last3=N. Krasnoperova | first3=Elena | date=1 January 1997 | doi=10.1037/10261-015| isbn=978-1-55798-380-0 }}</ref>

The importance of similarity and complementarity may depend on the stage of the relationship. Similarity seems to carry considerable weight in initial attraction, while complementarity assumes importance as the relationship develops over time.<ref>{{cite journal | last1 = Vinacke | first1 = W. E. | last2 = Shannon | first2 = K. | last3 = Palazzo | first3 = V | last4 = Balsavage | first4 = L. | year = 1988 | title = Similarity and complementarity in intimate couples | journal = Genetic, Social, and General Psychology Monographs | volume = 114 | pages = 51–76 }}</ref> Markey (2007) found that people would be more satisfied with their relationship if their partners differed from them, at least in terms of dominance, as two dominant persons may experience conflicts while two submissive individuals may have frustration as neither take the initiative.<ref name=markey2007 />

Perception and actual behavior might not be congruent with each other. There were cases that dominant people perceived their partners to be similarly dominant, yet to independent observers, the actual behavior of their partner was submissive, i.e. complementary to them.<ref name=horowitz1997 /> Why people perceive their romantic partners to be similar to them despite evidence of the contrary remains unclear.