Editing Limerence (section)

===Lovesickness===
{{Main|Lovesickness}}
Usually limerence is unrequited, and a horrible experience for the limerent person, even debilitating for some.<ref name="thelovedrug" /><ref name=":19">{{Cite web |last=Meister |first=Sydney |date=18 March 2024 |title=Limerence Is All Over TikTok, but Therapists Say You're Not Getting the Whole Story |url=https://www.purewow.com/wellness/limerence-dating |access-date=24 September 2024 |website=[[PureWow]] |language=en}}</ref> [[Lovesickness]] is a state of mind characterized by [[Drug withdrawal|addictive cravings]], [[frustration]], [[Depression (mood)|depression]], melancholy and [[Intrusive thought|intrusive thinking]].<ref name="ethnopharma" /> In [[Dorothy Tennov|Dorothy Tennov's]] survey group, 42% reported being "severely depressed about a love affair" and 17% said they "often thought of committing [[suicide]]".<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=149}}</ref> Other effects are distraction and self-isolation.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=87,98–99}}</ref> In a 1987 survey by [[Shere Hite]] in which many participants described relationships which were clearly limerent, 69% of married women and 48% of single women "neither liked, nor trusted, being in love", and their responses indicated being in love was mostly distressing. 17% "could no longer take love seriously".<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=43,215}}</ref> Fisher's [[Functional magnetic resonance imaging|fMRI]] scans of rejected lovers showed activation in brain areas associated with physical pain, craving and assessing one's gains and losses.<ref name="fisher2016" /> Tennov describes being under the spell herself, saying "Before it happened, I couldn't have imagined it[.] Now, I wouldn't want to have it happen again."<ref name="wapo1990">{{cite news | first = James | last = Brady | title = LOVESICKNESS A CHRONIC CONDITION | url = https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/1990/02/13/lovesickness-a-chronic-condition/a47356c5-898f-4a2b-98db-f5393c2a78f4/ | format = web | newspaper = [[The Washington Post]] | date = 13 Feb 1990 | access-date = 24 May 2024 | archive-date = 27 August 2017 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20170827215958/https://www.washingtonpost.com/archive/lifestyle/wellness/1990/02/13/lovesickness-a-chronic-condition/a47356c5-898f-4a2b-98db-f5393c2a78f4/ | url-status = live }}</ref> Some people even described to her incidents of self-injury, but Tennov maintains that limerence on its own is normal and tragedies involve additional factors.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=89–90,149–153,180}}</ref>

The physiological effects of limerence include [[trembling]], [[pallor]], [[Flushing (physiology)|flushing]], [[weakness]], [[sweating]], [[butterflies in the stomach]] and a [[Palpitations|pounding heart]].<ref name="Tennov 1999 49" /><ref name="Fisher 2016 22">{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=22}}</ref> According to Tennov, the sensation of limerence is associated primarily with the heart: "When I asked interviewees in the throes of the limerent condition to tell ''where'' they felt the sensation of limerence, they pointed unerringly to the midpoint in their chest. So consistently did this occur that it would seem to be another indication that the state described is indeed limerence [...]."<ref name="Tennov 1999 64">{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=64}}</ref>

Lovesickness has been pathologized in previous centuries, but is not currently in the [[ICD-10]], [[International Classification of Primary Care|ICPC]] or [[DSM-5]].<ref name="ethnopharma">{{cite journal | last1 = Leonti | first1 = Marco | last2 = Casu | first2 = Laura | date = 2 July 2018 | title = Ethnopharmacology of Love | journal = [[Frontiers in Psychology]] | volume = 9 | page = 567 | doi = 10.3389/fphar.2018.00567  | doi-access = free | pmid = 30026695 | pmc = 6041438 }}</ref> Author and [[clinical psychologist]] [[Frank Tallis]] has made the argument that all love—even normal love—is largely indistinguishable from mental illness.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=171–172,284}}</ref> There's a debate among academics over whether addiction is really a "true" mental illness, but some forms of addiction are nevertheless treated as one by the [[Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders|DSM]] (for example, [[gambling addiction]]). Some have argued that all romantic love can be considered an addiction, but the lovers described by Tennov and Hite bear a particularly striking resemblance to addicts.<ref name="tallis-addict" /><ref name="ethnopharma" /><ref name="fisher2016" /><ref name=":3" /> However, limerence was not intended to denote an abnormal state and lovesickness is no longer recognized as a medical condition.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=43,53}}</ref>

The symptoms of lovesickness also bear resemblance to many other entries in the DSM.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=53,58}}</ref> For example, when people fall in love, there are four core symptoms: preoccupation, episodes of melancholy, episodes of rapture and instability of mood.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=53}}</ref> These correspond with conventional diagnoses of obsessionality (or [[Obsessive–compulsive disorder|OCD]]), [[Depression (mood)|depression]], [[mania]] (or [[hypomania]]) and [[Bipolar disorder|manic depression]].<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=53,55}}</ref> Other examples are physical symptoms similar to [[panic attack]]s ([[Palpitations|pounding heart]], [[Tremor|trembling]], [[shortness of breath]] and [[lightheadedness]]), excessive worry about the future which resembles [[generalized anxiety disorder]], appetite disturbance and sensitivity about one's appearance which resembles [[anorexia nervosa]], and the feeling that life has become a dream which resembles [[derealization]] and [[depersonalization]].<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=58}}</ref> [[Bioethics|Bioethicist]] [[Brian Earp]] and colleagues have argued that the voluntary use of anti-love biotechnology (for example, a drug made to cause the person who uses it to fall out of love) could be ethical, but there is currently no drug which is a realistic candidate.<ref name="ethnopharma" /><ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Earp |first1=Brian |last2=Sandberg |first2=Anders |last3=Savulescu |first3=Julian |date=16 September 2016 |title=The Medicalization of Love |url=https://www.cambridge.org/core/journals/cambridge-quarterly-of-healthcare-ethics/article/medicalization-of-love/C777F50D65FAE64C7E4825AF8F2EFABE |journal=[[Cambridge Quarterly of Healthcare Ethics]] |volume=25 |issue=4 |pages=759–771 |doi=10.1017/S0963180116000542 |pmid=27634729}}</ref><ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Earp |first1=Brian |last2=Wudarczyk |first2=Olga |last3=Sandberg |first3=Anders |last4=Savulescu |first4=Julian |date=25 October 2013 |title=If I Could Just Stop Loving You: Anti-Love Biotechnology and the Ethics of a Chemical Breakup |journal=[[The American Journal of Bioethics]] |volume=13 |issue=11 |pages=3–17 |doi=10.1080/15265161.2013.839752 |pmc=3898540 |pmid=24161170}}</ref><ref name="refuting">{{cite journal |last1=Langeslag |first1=Sandra |date=2024 |title=Refuting Six Misconceptions about Romantic Love |journal=Behavioral Sciences |volume=14 |issue=5 |page=383 |doi=10.3390/bs14050383 |pmc=11117554 |pmid=38785874 |doi-access=free}}</ref>

There's also a debate about the involuntary nature of romantic love. The notion that [[falling in love]] is an involuntary process is different from the issue of whether one's [[behavior]] can be considered [[Autonomy|autonomous]] while in love.<ref name=":3" /> Tallis argues that love evolved to override rationality so that one finds a lover and reproduces regardless of the personal costs of bearing and raising a child.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=60–86}}</ref> He uses the example of [[Charles Darwin]] who, never being romantic, is said to have sat and made a list of reasons to marry or not to marry.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=60–64}}</ref> Being accustomed to total freedom and worrying about such things as financial austerities that would limit his expenditure on books, Darwin found his reasons not to marry greatly outweighed his reasons to marry.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=63–64}}</ref> However, shortly thereafter Darwin unexpectedly fell in love, suddenly becoming preoccupied with cozy images of married life and thus quickly converting from bachelor to husband.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=64–65}}</ref> Tallis writes:<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=85–86}}</ref><blockquote>At first sight, it seems extraordinary that evolutionary forces might conspire to shape something that looks like a mental illness to ensure reproductive success. Yet, there are many reasons why love should have evolved to share with madness several features—the most notable of which is the loss of reason. Like the ancient [[Humorism|humoral]] model of love sickness, evolutionary principles seem to have necessitated a blurring of the distinction between normal and abnormal states. Evolution expects us to love madly, lest we fail to love at all.</blockquote>

According to Tennov, "Love has been called a madness and an affliction at least since the time of the [[ancient Greeks]] and probably earlier than that."<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=173}}</ref> Historical accounts of lovesickness attribute it, for example, to being struck by an arrow shot by [[Eros]], to a sickness entering through the eyes (similar to the [[evil eye]]), to an excess of [[black bile]], or to spells, potions and other magic.<ref name="ethnopharma"/> Attempts to treat lovesickness have been made throughout history using a variety of plants, natural products, charms and rituals.<ref name="ethnopharma"/> The first known treatise on lovesickness is ''[[Remedia Amoris]]'', by the poet [[Ovid]].<ref name="ethnopharma"/>