Editing Cycle of abuse (section)

==Phases==
The cycle usually goes in the following order, and will repeat until the conflict is stopped, usually by the survivor entirely abandoning the relationship{{citation needed|date=February 2025}} or some form of intervention.<ref name="Newman p. 9">Willis C. Newman; Esmeralda Newman. ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=c1_9nzCi4W0C&pg=PA9 Domestic Violence: Causes and Cures and Anger Management]''. Willis Newman; 12 May 2010. {{ISBN|978-1-4528-4323-0}}. p. 9.</ref> The cycle can occur hundreds of times in an abusive relationship, the total cycle taking anywhere from a few hours to a year or more to complete. However, the length of the cycle usually diminishes over time so that the "reconciliation" and "calm" stages may disappear,{{citation needed|date=April 2014}} violence becomes more intense and the cycles become more frequent.<ref name="Newman p. 9" />

===1: Tension building===
Stress builds from the pressures of daily life, like conflict over children, marital issues, misunderstandings, or other family conflicts. It also builds as the result of illness, legal or financial problems, unemployment, or catastrophic events, like floods, rape or war.<ref name="Newman p. 9" /> During this period, the abuser feels ignored, threatened, annoyed or wronged. The feeling lasts on average several minutes to hours, although it may last as long as several months.<ref name="Johnson p. 31">Scott Allen Johnson. ''[https://books.google.com/books?id=xH9ucrMFdC8C&pg=PA31 Physical Abusers and Sexual Offenders: Forensic and Clinical Strategies]''. CRC Press; 13 July 2006. {{ISBN|978-0-8493-7259-9}}. p. 31.</ref>

To prevent violence, the victim may try to reduce the tension by [[Fight-or-flight response|becoming compliant]] and nurturing. Alternatively, the victim may provoke the abuser to get the abuse over with, prepare for the violence or lessen the degree of injury. However, the abuser is never justified in engaging in violent or abusive behavior.<ref name="Johnson p. 31" />

===2: Incident ===
During this stage, the abuser attempts to dominate their victim.  Outbursts of violence and abuse occur which may include [[verbal abuse]]<ref name="Newman p. 9" /> and [[psychological abuse]].<ref name="Johnson p. 31" />

In [[intimate partner violence]], children are [[Effects of domestic violence on children|negatively affected]] by having witnessed the violence, and the partner's relationship degrades as well. The release of energy reduces the tension, and the abuser may feel or express that the victim "had it coming" to them.<ref name="Newman p. 9" />

===3: Reconciliation===
The perpetrator may begin to feel remorse, guilty feelings, or fear that their partner will leave or call the police. The victim feels pain, fear, humiliation, disrespect, confusion, and may mistakenly feel responsible.<ref name="Newman p. 9" />

Characterized by affection, apology, or, alternatively, ignoring the incident, this phase marks an apparent end of violence, with assurances that it will never happen again, or that the abuser will do their best to change. During this stage the abuser may feel or claim to feel overwhelming remorse and sadness. Some abusers walk away from the situation with little comment, but most will eventually [[Love bombing|shower the survivor with love and affection]]. The abuser may use [[Victim playing|self-harm or threats of suicide to gain sympathy]] and/or prevent the survivor from leaving the relationship. Abusers are frequently so convincing, and survivors so eager for the relationship to improve, that survivors (who are often worn down and confused by longstanding abuse) stay in the relationship.<ref name="Walker" /><ref>Brewster, Susan ''Helping her get free'' Seal Press 2006 {{ISBN|1-58005-167-7}}</ref>

===4: Calm===
During this phase (which is often considered an element of the honeymoon/reconciliation phase), the relationship is relatively calm and peaceful. During this period the abuser may agree to engage in counselling, ask for forgiveness, and create a normal atmosphere. In intimate partner relationships, the perpetrator may buy presents or the couple may engage in passionate sex.<ref name="Newman p. 9" /> Over time, the abuser's apologies and requests for forgiveness become less sincere and are generally stated to prevent separation or intervention.<ref name="Johnson p. 31" /> However, interpersonal difficulties will inevitably arise, leading again to the tension building phase.<ref name="Newman p. 9" /> The effect of the continual cycle may include loss of love, contempt, distress, and/or physical disability. Intimate partners may separate, divorce or, at the extreme, someone may be killed.<ref name="Newman p. 9" />