Editing Coming out (section)

== Identity issues ==
{{See also|Identity (social science)|Personal identity}}

When coming out is described as a gradual process or a journey,<ref name="Coming Out: A Journey" /> it is meant to include becoming aware of and acknowledging one's gender identity, gender expression, or non-hetero-normative sexual orientation or attraction. This preliminary stage, which involves soul-searching or a personal [[Epiphany (feeling)|epiphany]],<ref>{{cite web |url=http://imfromdriftwood.com/im-from-new-york-ny-5/ |title=Gay Epiphany |access-date=8 October 2014 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20141014093757/http://imfromdriftwood.com/im-from-new-york-ny-5/ |archive-date=14 October 2014}}</ref> is often called "coming out to oneself" and constitutes the start of [[self-acceptance]]. Many LGBTQ people say that this stage began for them during [[adolescence]] or [[childhood]], when they first became aware of their sexual orientation toward members of the same sex.

Coming out has also been described as a process because of a recurring need or desire to come out in new situations in which LGBTQ people are assumed to be heterosexual or [[cisgender]], such as at a new job or with new acquaintances. A major frame of reference for those coming out has included using an inside/outside perspective, where some assume that the person can keep their identity or orientation a secret and separate from their outside appearance. This is not as simple as often thought, as Diana Fuss (1991) argues, "the problem of course with the inside/outside rhetoric&nbsp;... is that such polemics disguise the fact that most of us are both inside and outside at the same time".

=== LGBTQ identity development ===
{{Main|Sexual identity#Models of sexual identity development}}
Every coming out story is the person trying to come to terms with who they are and their sexual orientation.<ref>{{cite journal |last=Chirrey |first=Deborah |title=I Hereby Come Out: What Sort Of Speech Act Is Coming Out? |journal=Journal of Sociolinguistics |year=2003 |volume=7 |issue=1 |pages=24–37 |doi=10.1111/1467-9481.00209}}</ref> Several models have been created to describe coming out as a process for gay and lesbian identity development, e.g., Dank, 1971; Cass, 1984; Coleman, 1989; Troiden, 1989. Of these models, the most widely accepted is the [[Cass identity model]] established by Vivienne Cass.<ref>{{cite web |url=http://www.uvm.edu/~linemen/articles/genderidentity.pdf |title=Sexual Identity: The Case Model |access-date=19 April 2021 |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20160325110617/http://www.uvm.edu/~linemen/articles/genderidentity.pdf |archive-date=25 March 2016}}</ref> This model outlines six discrete stages transited by individuals who successfully come out: identity confusion, identity comparison, identity tolerance, identity acceptance, identity pride, and identity synthesis. However, not every LGBTQ person follows such a model. For example, some LGBTQ youth become aware of and accept their same-sex desires or gender identity at puberty in a way similar to which heterosexual teens become aware of their sexuality, i.e., free of any notion of difference, stigma or shame in terms of the gender of the people to whom they are attracted.<ref>{{Cite web |title=LGBT Coming Out of the Closet News and Information |url=https://www.sexualdiversity.org/sexuality/out/ |access-date=2022-10-10 |website=Sexual Diversity |date=January 2019 |language=en-US}}</ref> Regardless of whether LGBTQ youth develop their identity based on a model, the typical age at which youth in the United States come out has been dropping. High school students and even middle school students are coming out.<ref>''Salon'': [http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2009/09/24/gay_teens/ Amy Benfer, "We're here! We're queer! We're 13!", September 24, 2009] {{webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20090927045536/http://www.salon.com/mwt/broadsheet/feature/2009/09/24/gay_teens/|date=27 September 2009}}, accessed 16 January 2012</ref><ref>{{cite news |url=https://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/27/magazine/27out-t.html |work=[[The New York Times Magazine]] |title=Coming Out in Middle School |first=Benoit |last=Denizet-Lewis |date=27 September 2009 | access-date=30 April 2010 | url-status=live | archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110513000820/http://www.nytimes.com/2009/09/27/magazine/27out-t.html | archive-date=13 May 2011}}</ref><ref name="Gay Kids Coming Out Younger But Parents Ask 'How Do You Know?'">[http://jezebel.com/5366812/gay-kids-coming-out-younger-but-parents-ask-how-do-you-know Coming Out Younger] {{webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130708192103/http://jezebel.com/5366812/gay-kids-coming-out-younger-but-parents-ask-how-do-you-know|date=8 July 2013}}, Jezebel.com article.</ref>

Emerging research suggests that [[gay men]] from religious backgrounds are likely to come out online via Facebook and other social networks, such as blogs, as they offer a protective interpersonal distance. This largely contradicts the growing movement in social media research indicating that online use, particularly Facebook, can lead to negative mental health outcomes such as increased levels of anxiety. While further research is needed to assess whether these results generalize to a larger sample, these recent findings open the door to the possibility that gay men's online experiences may differ from those of heterosexuals in that these may be more likely to provide mental health benefits rather than consequences.<ref>Etengoff, C. & Daiute, C. (2015). "Online Coming Out Communications between Gay Men and their Religious Family Allies: A Family of Choice and Origin Perspective", ''Journal of GLBT Family Studies.''</ref>

===Transgender identity and coming out===
[[File:Coming Out As Trans - A Little Public Statement.webm|thumb|Actress [[Abigail Thorn]] coming out as transgender]]
{{See also|Transgender#Coming out}}
Transgender people vary greatly in choosing when, whether, and how to disclose their transgender status to family, close friends, and others. The prevalence of discrimination<ref>{{cite web |url=http://glaadblog.org/2011/02/04/groundbreaking-report-reflects-persistent-discrimination-against-transgender-community/ |title=Groundbreaking Report Reflects Persistent Discrimination Against Transgender Community |date=4 February 2011 |website=GLAAD |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110803205502/http://glaadblog.org/2011/02/04/groundbreaking-report-reflects-persistent-discrimination-against-transgender-community/ |archive-date=3 August 2011 |access-date=21 April 2021}}</ref> and violence against transgender people (in the United States, for example, transgender people are 28 percent more likely to be victims of violence)<ref>{{Cite web |url=http://www.glaad.org/blog/violence-against-transgender-people-and-people-color-disproportionately-high-lgbtqh-murder-rate |title=Violence Against Transgender People and People of Color is Disproportionately High, LGBTQH Murder Rate Peaks |last=Bolles |first=Alexandra |date=4 June 2012 |publisher=[[GLAAD]] |url-status=dead |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20151228050921/http://www.glaad.org/blog/violence-against-transgender-people-and-people-color-disproportionately-high-lgbtqh-murder-rate |archive-date=28 December 2015 |access-date=16 December 2015}}</ref> can make coming out a risky decision. Fear of retaliatory behavior, such as being removed from the parental home while underage, is a reason for transgender people to delay coming out to their families until they have reached adulthood.<ref>Gay and Lesbian Alliance Against Defamation. [https://www.glaad.org/2010/02/25/sassafras-lowreys-kicked-out-anthology-shares-stories-of-lgbtq-youth-homelessness "Sassafras Lowrey's Kicked Out Anthology Shares Stories of LGBTQ Youth Homelessness"] {{webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110804080450/http://glaadblog.org/2010/02/25/sassafras-lowreys-kicked-out-anthology-shares-stories-of-lgbtq-youth-homelessness/|date=4 August 2011}}, "[[GLAAD]]", US, 25 February 2010. Retrieved 25 February 2011.</ref> Parental confusion and lack of acceptance of a transgender child may result in parents treating a newly revealed gender identity as a "phase" or making efforts to change their children back to "normal" by using mental health services to [[Conversion therapy|alter the child's gender identity]].<ref name="hrc-comingout">{{Cite web |title=Coming Out to Family as Transgender |url=http://www.hrc.org/issues/3455.htm |publisher=[[Human Rights Campaign]] |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20110103222434/http://www.hrc.org/issues/3455.htm |archive-date=3 January 2011 |access-date=5 December 2010}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web |url=http://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-children-and-youth-understanding-the-basics |title=Transgender Children & Youth: Understanding the Basics {{!}} Human Rights Campaign|website=Human Rights Campaign |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20170910211556/http://www.hrc.org/resources/transgender-children-and-youth-understanding-the-basics |archive-date=10 September 2017 |access-date=23 August 2017}}</ref>

The internet can play a significant role in the coming out process for transgender people. Some come out in an [[online identity]] first, providing an opportunity to go through experiences virtually and safely before risking social sanctions in the real world.<ref>{{cite journal |last=Marciano |first=A. |year=2014 |title=Living the VirtuReal: Negotiating transgender identity in cyberspace |journal=Journal of Computer-Mediated Communication |volume=19 |issue=4 |pages=824–838 |doi=10.1111/jcc4.12081 |doi-access=free}}</ref><ref name="Stitt">{{Cite book |title=ACT For Gender Identity: The Comprehensive Guide |last=Stitt |first=Alex |date=2020 |publisher=Jessica Kingsley Publishers |isbn=978-1785927997 |location=London |oclc=1089850112}}</ref> But, while many trans people find support online that they may not have in real life, others encounter bullying and harassment. According to a study published by Blumenfeld and Cooper in 2012,<ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Cooper |first1=Robyn M. |last2=Blumenfeld |first2=Warren J. |date=April 2012 |title=Responses to Cyberbullying: A Descriptive Analysis of the Frequency of and Impact on LGBT and Allied Youth |journal=Journal of LGBT Youth |volume=9 |issue=2 |pages=153–177 |doi=10.1080/19361653.2011.649616 |s2cid=144818660 |issn=1936-1653}}</ref> youth who identify as LGBT are 22 percent less likely to report online bullying because they may have parents who do not believe or understand them, or they fear having to come out in order to explain the incident. This further shows the barriers that trans individuals can have when coming out.

Coming out as transgender can be more complex than coming out as a sexual minority. Visible changes that can occur as part of changing one's gender identity{{Snd}}such as wardrobe changes, [[Transgender hormone therapy|hormone replacement therapy]], and name changes{{Snd}}can make coming out to other people less of a choice. Further, elements that accompany a change in gender can have financial, physical, medical, and legal implications. Additionally, transgender individuals can experience prejudice and rejection from sexual minorities and others in the LGBTQ community, in addition to the larger LGBTQ bias they can face from mainstream culture, which can feel isolating.<ref name="Stitt" />

=== Asexual and aromantic identity ===
[[Asexuality|Asexual]] and [[Aromanticism|aromantic]] people might experience different challenges when coming out that other individuals in the LGBTQ community may not face.<ref>{{cite web |last=Smith |first=Reiss |date=2023-04-06 |title=Being asexual can mean feeling like an outsider – even in the LGBTQ+ community |url=https://www.thepinknews.com/2023/04/06/come-out-as-asexual/ |access-date=2024-02-10 |website=PinkNews }}</ref> The 2018 National LGBT Survey in the [[United Kingdom]] found that only 17 percent of asexuals received positive responses when coming out, in comparison to over 40 percent for other LGBTQ people.<ref name=":3">{{Cite web |date=2023-11-08 |title=Only 1 in 10 Asexual People in the UK Are Out at Work, New Report Finds |url=https://www.them.us/story/1-in-10-asexual-people-in-the-uk-are-out-at-work-new-report-finds |access-date=2024-02-10 |website=Them |language=en-US}}</ref> A 2016 study found that asexual individuals commonly experienced skepticism and misunderstanding over the existence of their identity when coming out as asexual.<ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Robbins |first1=Nicolette K. |last2=Low |first2=Kathryn Graff |last3=Query |first3=Anna N. |date=2016 |title=A Qualitative Exploration of the 'Coming Out' Process for Asexual Individuals |url=https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/26334774/ |journal=Archives of Sexual Behavior |volume=45 |issue=3 |pages=751–760 |doi=10.1007/s10508-015-0561-x |issn=1573-2800 |pmid=26334774|s2cid=27894762 }}</ref> A 2024 review by [[Michael Paramo]] noted that asexual and aromantic people are commonly tasked with educating people about their identities when coming out because of a lack of understanding over their existence.<ref name=":4">{{Cite book |last=Paramo |first=Michael |url=https://books.google.com/books?id=tzLPEAAAQBAJ |title=Ending the Pursuit: Asexuality, Aromanticism and Agender Identity |date=2024 |publisher=Unbound Publishing |isbn=978-1-80018-286-8 |pages=10–12, 36 |language=en}}</ref>

Asexual and aromantic people may face risks of [[sexual assault]], coercion, or other pressures to conform to sexual or romantic behavior from their sexual or romantic partners or external to their relationships.<ref name=":4" /> They can also experience being rejected by a partner or love interest for being asexual or aromantic, which may make some asexual and aromantic people tentative to come out.<ref>{{Cite web |date=2021 |title=Understanding Asexuality |url=https://www.thetrevorproject.org/resources/article/understanding-asexuality/ |website=The Trevor Project}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web |last= |first= |title=What Does Aromantic Mean? |url=https://www.webmd.com/sex/what-does-aromantic-mean |access-date=2024-03-14 |website=WebMD |language=en}}</ref> A 2023 study co-authored by [[Yasmin Benoit]] found that asexual people in the UK were unlikely to reveal their identity within healthcare settings for fear of being pressured to conform to sexual behavior.<ref name=":3" /> Online role models may be helpful for asexual people when coming out because of a lack of representation surrounding asexuality.<ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Jones |first1=Catriona |last2=Hayter |first2=Mark |last3=Jomeen |first3=Julie |date=2017 |title=Understanding asexual identity as a means to facilitate culturally competent care: A systematic literature review |url=https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/jocn.13862 |journal=Journal of Clinical Nursing |language=en |volume=26 |issue=23–24 |pages=3811–3831 |doi=10.1111/jocn.13862 |pmid=28430404 |issn=0962-1067}}</ref>