Editing Limerence (section)

== Relation to other concepts ==

=== Love ===
[[Dorothy Tennov]] gives several reasons for inventing a term for the state denoted by limerence (usually termed "being in love").<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=15–16,71,116,120}}</ref> One principle reason is to resolve ambiguities with the word "love" being used both to refer to an act which is chosen, as well as to a state which is endured:<ref name="Tennov 1999 15"/><blockquote>Many writers on love have complained about semantic difficulties. The dictionary lists two dozen different meanings of the word "love". And how does one distinguish between love and affection, liking, fondness, caring, concern, infatuation, attraction, or desire? [...] Acknowledgment of a distinction between love as a verb, as an action taken by the individual, and love as a state is awkward. Never having fallen in love is not at all a matter of not loving, if loving is defined as caring. Furthermore, this state of "being in love" included feelings that do not properly fit with love defined as concern.</blockquote>(The type of love that focuses on caring for others is called [[compassionate love]] or [[agape]].)<ref name="4th-dim" />{{Paragraph break}}The other principle reason given is that she encountered people who do not experience the state. The first such person Tennov discovered was a long-time friend, Helen Payne, whose unfamiliarity with the state of limerence emerged during a conversation on an airplane flight together.<ref name=":15"/> Tennov writes that "describing the intricacies of romantic attachments" to Helen was "like trying to describe the color red to one blind from birth".<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=14}}</ref> Tennov labels such people "nonlimerents" (a person not currently experiencing limerence), but cautions that it seemed to her that there is no nonlimerent personality and that potentially anyone could experience the state of limerence.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=110–111}}</ref> Tennov says:<ref name="Tennov 1999 15"/><blockquote>I adopted the view that never being in this state was neither more nor less pathological than experiencing it. I wanted to be able to speak about this reliably identifiable condition without giving love's advocates the feeling something precious was being destroyed. Even more important, if using the term "love" denoted the presence of the state, there was the danger that absence of the state would receive negative connotations.</blockquote>Tennov addresses the issue of whether limerence is love in several other passages.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=71,120}}</ref> In one passage she clearly says that limerence is love, at least in certain cases:<ref name="Tennov 1999 120">{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=120}}</ref><blockquote>In fully developed limerence, you feel ''additionally'' what is, in other contexts as well, called love—an extreme degree of feeling that you want LO to be safe, cared for, happy, and all those other positive and noble feelings that you might feel for your children, your parents, and your dearest friends. That's probably why limerence is called love in all languages. [...] Surely limerence is love at its highest and most glorious peak.</blockquote>However, Tennov then switches in tone and tells a fairly negative story of the pain felt by a woman reminiscing over the time she wasted pining for a man she now feels nothing towards, something which occupied her in a time when her father was still alive and her children "were adorable babies who needed their mother's attention." Tennov says this is why we distinguish limerence (this "love") from other loves.<ref name="Tennov 1999 120"/>

In another passage, Tennov says that while affection and fondness do not demand anything in return, the return of feelings desired in the limerent state means that "Other aspects of your life, including love, are sacrificed in behalf of the all-consuming need." and that "While limerence has been called love, it is not love."<ref name="Tennov 1999 71">{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=71}}</ref>

=== Romantic love ===
[[Dorothy Tennov]] sometimes considers limerence to be synonymous with the term "romantic love".<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=161,172}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|2005}}</ref><ref name="observer" /> This term has a complicated history with an evolving definition, but the sense in which Tennov uses it originates from a literary tradition of stories depicting tragic or unfulfilled love.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=87–93}}</ref> Some examples of romantic love stories in this vein are [[Layla and Majnun]], [[Tristan and Iseult]], Dante and Beatrice (from ''[[La Vita Nuova]]''), [[Romeo and Juliet]] and ''[[The Sorrows of Young Werther]]''.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=87–117}}</ref><ref name="Hayes"/>

In this sense, romantic love is idealized, unrealistic and irrational, the kind of love often found in a fairy-tale depicting a tragedy. This can be contrasted with rational, practical and pragmatic love, or the kind of love found in steady, long-term relationships.<ref>{{Cite web |last=Karandashev |first=Victor |date=12 March 2022 |title=What Is Romantic Love? |url=https://love-diversity.org/what-is-romantic-love/ |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250107215724/https://love-diversity.org/what-is-romantic-love/ |archive-date=7 January 2025 |access-date=7 January 2025 |website=The Diversity of Love Journal}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Karandashev|2017|pp=xii-xiii,14,24,30–33}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=109,117}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=4,242-244}}</ref><ref name="Hayes"/>

The literary genre of romantic love dates back to [[troubadour]] poetry from the middle ages (or earlier) and the doctrine of [[courtly love]].<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=89–96}}</ref> Tennov credits the cleric [[Andreas Capellanus]] as describing the state of limerence "very accurately" in [[De amore (Andreas Capellanus)|''The Art of Courtly Love'']], a book of statutes for the "proper" conduct of lovers.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=174}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=94}}</ref> The work includes rules such as "A true lover is constantly and without intermission possessed by the thoughts of his beloved." and "The easy attainment of love makes it of little value; difficulty of attainment makes it prized."<ref name="Tallis 2004 96">{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=96}}</ref> This work helped spread the cultural doctrine of romantic love throughout [[Europe]].<ref name="Tallis 2004 96"/><ref name="Lee 1998 54–55">{{harvnb|Lee|1998|pp=54–55}}</ref> Because of the literary and cultural origins of the term, the romantic love phenomenon is sometimes held to be [[Social construct|socially constructed]] (especially by critics, according to Tennov); however, Tennov argues that limerence has a biological basis and evolutionary purpose.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=174–175,242–249}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1998|pp=50,54–55}}</ref>

Tennov also sometimes considers limerence to be synonymous with "falling" in love,<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=167,222,270}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=42-43}}</ref> a concept which also has origins in the romantic tradition and the idea that love is tragic. To "fall" in love evokes a connotation of physically falling over. One influential work in the middle ages described lovers who frequently fainted or lost consciousness.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=42-43,89}}</ref>

Romantic love is also often used as a synonym for [[Passionate and companionate love|passionate love]], also called "being in love", and also often associated with limerence.<ref name="proximateandultimate" /><ref name=":52">{{Cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |last2=Kowal |first2=Marta |date=3 May 2023 |title=Toward consistent reporting of sample characteristics in studies investigating the biological mechanisms of romantic love |journal=[[Frontiers in Psychology]] |volume=14 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2023.983419 |pmc=10192910 |pmid=37213378 |doi-access=free}}</ref> Academic literature has never universally adopted a single term for this.<ref name="proximateandultimate" /> [[Helen Fisher (anthropologist)|Helen Fisher]] has commented that she prefers the term "romantic love" because she thinks it has meaning in society.<ref name="madlyinlove">{{cite podcast |url=https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/madly-in-love-researcher-talks-love-limerence-and/id1510016468?i=1000640994601 |title="Madly In Love" Researcher Talks Love, Limerence, and Mating For Life with Dr. Helen Fisher |website=It Starts With Attraction |last=Holmes |first=Kimberly |date=2024 |access-date=27 May 2024}}: "I don't think there is any difference [between romantic love and limerence]. I used to know [Dorothy Tennov] and I guess she wanted to invent a new term, and that was fine. I don't mind that, but I actually like the term of romantic love. Her concept of limerence was a rather sad one. It had a sad component to it. Anyway, she created a new term. It's a perfectly fine term. I could have used it myself. I decided not to because I felt that the term romantic love had meaning in society and I didn't see the need for a new term. But I certainly liked her work. I certainly read her book. I certainly knew her. I admired her. And I didn't happen to adopt the term limerence, but if people want to use it, fine with me. [...] My memory of [limerence]—and this is—she wrote that book in 1979, so I—and then she died pretty recently—and she was sick, and even the day that I met her at a conference, she was with her son who she really needed for, I don't know, for emotional or physical support. From my reading of it, she sort of felt that limerence was a somewhat unhealthy experience, that it so overtook you and could lead to some disaster."</ref>

=== Passionate and companionate love ===
{{Main|Passionate and companionate love}}

Limerence has been compared to [[passionate love]], with [[Elaine Hatfield]] considering them synonymous or commenting in 2016 that they are "much the same".<ref name="Hatfield 1988 197"/><ref name="potentgrip">{{cite news | first = Nick | last = Lehr | title = Limerence: The potent grip of obsessive love | url = https://www.cnn.com/2016/10/10/health/limerence-heartbreak-obsession/index.html | format = web | work = [[CNN]] | date = 10 October 2016 | access-date = 5 May 2024 | archive-date = 31 May 2023 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20230531045734/https://www.cnn.com/2016/10/10/health/limerence-heartbreak-obsession/index.html | url-status = live }}</ref> Many other academics have also considered these terms synonymous.<ref name="fisher2002" /><ref name="proximateandultimate" /><ref name="diamond2003" /><ref name="acevedo2009" /> Passionate love is described as:<ref>{{harvnb|Hatfield|Walster|1985|p=9}}</ref>

<blockquote>A state of intense longing for union with an other. Reciprocated love (union with the other) is associated with fulfillment and ecstasy. Unrequited love (separation) with emptiness; with anxiety, or despair. A state of profound physiological arousal.</blockquote>Passionate love is linked to ''[[Passion (emotion)|passion]]'', as in intense emotion, for example, joy and fulfillment, but also anguish and agony.<ref name="Hatfield 1985 58">{{harvnb|Hatfield|Walster|1985|p=58}}</ref> Hatfield notes that the original meaning of passion "''was'' agony—as in [[Passion of Jesus|Christ's passion]]."<ref name="Hatfield 1985 58" /> Passionate love is contrasted with companionate love, which is "the affection we feel for those with whom our lives are deeply entwined".<ref>{{harvnb|Hatfield|1988|p=191}}</ref> Companionate love is felt less intensely and often follows after passionate love in a relationship.<ref name="proximateandultimate" /><ref name="potentgrip" />{{Paragraph break}}Passionate love is commonly measured using the [[Passionate Love Scale]] (PLS), which was originally designed to measure the same state denoted by limerence.<ref name=":52" /><ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Aron |first1=Arthur |last2=Fisher |first2=Helen |last3=Mashek |first3=Debra J. |last4=Strong |first4=Greg |last5=Li |first5=Haifang |last6=Brown |first6=Lucy L. |date=August 2005 |title=Reward, Motivation, and Emotion Systems Associated With Early-Stage Intense Romantic Love |url=https://www.physiology.org/doi/10.1152/jn.00838.2004 |journal=Journal of Neurophysiology |language=en |volume=94 |issue=1 |pages=327–337 |doi=10.1152/jn.00838.2004 |pmid=15928068 |issn=0022-3077|url-access=subscription }}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Hatfield|1988|pp=195,197}}</ref> The PLS has been critiqued as having questions which are overly broad, and it actually has two general factors: an obsession factor and a non-obsession factor.<ref name="ias">{{cite journal |last1=Langeslag |first1=Sandra |last2=Muris |first2=Peter |last3=Franken |first3=Ingmar |date=25 Oct 2012 |title=Measuring Romantic Love: Psychometric Properties of the Infatuation and Attachment Scales |url=https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/00224499.2012.714011 |journal=[[The Journal of Sex Research]] |volume=50 |issue=8 |pages=739–747 |doi=10.1080/00224499.2012.714011 |pmid=23098269|url-access=subscription }}</ref><ref name="acevedo2009" /> The PLS obsession factor has questions like "Sometimes I feel I can't control my thoughts; they are obsessively on my partner." and "An existence without my partner would be dark and dismal."<ref name="acevedo2009" /><ref name=":42" /> Limerence has been compared to passionate love with obsession:<ref name="acevedo2009" /><blockquote>Passionate love, "a state of intense longing for union with another" [...], also referred to as "being in love" (Meyers & Berscheid, 1997), "infatuation" (Fisher, 1998), and "limerence" (Tennov, 1979), includes an obsessive element, characterized by intrusive thinking, uncertainty, and mood swings.</blockquote>In ''Love and Limerence,'' [[Dorothy Tennov]] also lists passionate love among several synonyms for limerence, and refers to one of Hatfield's early writings on the subject.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=56,116,172,282}}</ref> However, the focus of Tennov's study was on individuals and the aspects of love that produced distress, rather than relationships.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|2005|p=28}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=6–7}}</ref> She has also said that one of the problems she encountered in her studies is that her interview subjects would use terms like "passionate love", "romantic love" and "being in love" to refer to mental states other than what she refers to as limerence.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=116}}</ref> For example, some of her nonlimerent interviewees would use the word "obsession", yet not report the [[intrusive thought]]s necessary to limerence, only that "thoughts of the person are frequent and pleasurable".<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=114–115}}</ref>

=== Infatuation ===
Various authors have considered "[[infatuation]]" to be a synonym for both passionate love and limerence.<ref name="diamond2003" /><ref name="fisher2002" /><ref name="acevedo2009" /><ref name=":0">{{Cite journal |last=Sternberg |first=Robert |date=1986 |title=A triangular theory of love |url=https://psycnet.apa.org/doiLanding?doi=10.1037%2F0033-295X.93.2.119 |journal=[[Psychological Review]] |volume=93 |issue=2 |pages=119–135 |doi=10.1037/0033-295X.93.2.119|url-access=subscription }}</ref> [[Dorothy Tennov]] has stated that she did not use the word "infatuation" because while there is overlap, the word evokes different connotations.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|2005|p=28}}</ref> In one type of distinction, people use "infatuation" to express disapproval or to refer to unsatisfactory relationships, and "love" to refer to satisfactory ones.<ref>{{harvnb|Hatfield|Walster|1985|pp=51–53}}</ref> In ''Love and Limerence'', Tennov considers "infatuation" to be a [[pejorative]], for example often being used as a label for teenage limerent fantasizing and obsession with a celebrity.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=15,85}}</ref>

In the [[triangular theory of love]], by [[Robert Sternberg]], "infatuation" refers to romantic passion without intimacy (or closeness) and without commitment.<ref name=":0" /><ref name="Tallis 2004 45">{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=45}}</ref> Sternberg has stated that infatuation in his theory is essentially the same as limerence.<ref name=":0" /> Another related concept (which also has qualities reminiscent of limerence)<ref name="Tallis 2004 45" /> is "fatuous love", which is romantic passion ''with'' a commitment made in the absence of intimacy. This can be, for example, lovers in the throes of new passion who commit to marry without really knowing each other well enough to know if they are suitable partners. In this situation, their passion usually wanes over time, turning into a commitment alone (called "empty love") and they become unhappy.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=46}}</ref>

=== Independent emotion systems ===
[[Helen Fisher (anthropologist)|Helen Fisher's]] popular theory of [[Biology of romantic love#Independent emotion systems|independent emotion systems]] posits that there are three primary biological systems involved with human [[reproduction]], [[mating]] and [[parenting]]: ''lust'' (the sex drive, or sexual desire), ''attraction'' (passionate love, infatuation or limerence) and ''attachment'' (companionate love). These three systems regularly work in concert together but serve different purposes and can also work independently.<ref name="fisher1998" /><ref name="fisher2002" /><ref name="co-opted">{{cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |date=16 October 2023 |title=Romantic love evolved by co-opting mother-infant bonding |journal=[[Frontiers in Psychology]] |volume=14 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1176067 |pmc=10616966 |pmid=37915523 |doi-access=free}}</ref> According to Fisher, lust, attraction and attachment can occur in any order.<ref>{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=148}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web |last=Stuart |first=Julia |date=2007-02-13 |title=What exactly is love? |url=https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/what-exactly-is-love-436234.html |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250420201659/https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/what-exactly-is-love-436234.html |archive-date=20 April 2025 |access-date=2025-04-20 |website=[[The Independent]] |language=en}}</ref> Independent emotions theory has been critiqued as being oversimplified, but the general idea of separate systems remains useful.<ref name="co-opted" />

When limerence is a component in an [[affair]], for example, Fisher's theory can be used to help explain this.<ref name="fisher2002" /><ref>{{harvnb|Beam|2013|pp=72,75,84}}</ref> Fisher's theory is that while a person can feel deep attachment for a long-term spouse, they can ''also'' feel limerence for somebody else, just as how one can also feel sexual attraction towards other people.<ref name="fisher2002" /><ref>{{Cite news |last=Fisher |first=Helen |date=23 January 2014 |title=10 facts about infidelity |url=https://ideas.ted.com/10-facts-about-infidelity-helen-fisher/ |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250106120646/https://ideas.ted.com/10-facts-about-infidelity-helen-fisher/ |archive-date=6 January 2025 |access-date=15 January 2025 |work=[[TED (conference)|TED.com]]}}</ref> [[Joe Beam]] comments that if somebody in a committed relationship ends up in limerence like this, it will pull them out of their relationship.<ref name=":13" />

Fisher's theory has also been used to explain why some people can feel "platonic" limerence without sexual desire, because sexual desire is separate from romantic love.<ref name="diamond2003" /><ref>{{Cite journal |last=Diamond |first=Lisa M. |date=2004 |title=Emerging Perspectives on Distinctions Between Romantic Love and Sexual Desire |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00287.x |journal=Current Directions in Psychological Science |language=en |volume=13 |issue=3 |pages=116–119 |doi=10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00287.x |issn=0963-7214|url-access=subscription }}: "[M]ost researchers acknowledge a distinction between the earlier 'passionate' stage of love, sometimes called 'limerence' (Tennov, 1979), and the later-developing 'companionate' stage of love [...]. Although it may be easy to imagine sexual desire without romantic love, the notion of 'pure,' 'platonic,' or 'nonsexual' romantic love is somewhat more controversial. Yet empirical evidence indicates that sexual desire is not a prerequisite for romantic love, even in its earliest, passionate stages. Many men and women report having experienced romantic passion in the absence of sexual desire (Tennov, 1979) [...]."</ref><ref name="fisher1998" /> [[Lisa M. Diamond|Lisa Diamond]] argues this is possible even in contradiction to one's sexual orientation, because the brain systems evolved by [[Biology of romantic love#Co-option theory|repurposing the systems for mother-infant bonding]] (a process called [[exaptation]]). According to this theory, it would not have been adaptive for a parent to only be able to bond with an opposite sex child, so the systems must have evolved independent of sexual orientation. People most often fall in love because of sexual desire, but Diamond suggests time spent together and physical touch can serve as a substitute.<ref name="diamond2003" /> In [[Dorothy Tennov|Dorothy Tennov's]] conception, sexual attraction was an essential component of limerence (as a generalization); however she did note that occasionally people described to her what seemed to fit the pattern of limerence, but without sexual attraction.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=24}}</ref> Additionally, for those who do have a sexual interest, their desire for emotional union and commitment is a far greater concern to them.<ref>{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=23}}</ref><ref name="Tennov 1999 x"/>
=== Attachment theory ===
[[Attachment theory]] refers to [[John Bowlby|John Bowlby's]] concept of an "attachment system", a system evolved to keep infants in proximity of their caregiver (or "attachment figure").<ref name="diamond2003" /><ref name="hazanshaver" /><ref name="4th-dim">{{cite journal |last1=Berscheid |first1=Ellen |date=2010 |title=Love in the Fourth Dimension |url=https://www.annualreviews.org/content/journals/10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100318 |journal=[[Annual Review of Psychology]] |volume=61 |pages=1–25 |doi=10.1146/annurev.psych.093008.100318 |pmid=19575626|url-access=subscription }}</ref> A person uses their attachment figure as a "secure base" to feel safe exploring the environment, seeks proximity with the attachment figure when threatened, and suffers distress when separated.<ref name="4th-dim" /><ref name="hazanshaver" /> A prominent theory suggests this system is reused for adult pair bonds, as an [[exaptation]] or co-option, whereby a given trait takes on a new purpose.<ref name="hazanshaver" /><ref name="co-opted" /><ref name="diamond2003" /> Attachment style refers to differences in attachment-related thoughts and behaviors, especially relating to the concept of security vs. insecurity.<ref name=":2">{{Cite book |last1=Fraley |first1=Chris |title=Handbook of Personality, Third Edition: Theory and Research |last2=Shaver |first2=Phillip |date=5 August 2008 |publisher=[[Guilford Press]] |isbn=9781606237380 |edition=3rd |pages=518–541 |chapter=Attachment Theory and Its Place in Contemporary Personality Theory and Research}}</ref><ref name="hazanshaver" /> This can be split into components of anxiety (worrying the partner is available, attentive and responsive) and avoidance (preference not to rely on others or open up emotionally).<ref name=":2" />

In [[Helen Fisher (anthropologist)|Helen Fisher's]] taxonomy, limerence and attachment are considered different systems with different purposes.<ref name="fisher1998" /><ref name="fisher2002" /> In the past, other authors have also suggested that limerence could be related to the anxious attachment style.<ref name="hazanshaver" /><ref name="feeneynoller" /> However, in their original 1987 paper conceptualizing romantic love as an attachment process (and relating limerence to attachment style), Cindy Hazan and Phillip Shaver also caution that they are not implying that the early phase of romance is equivalent to being attached.<ref name="hazanshaver" /> Other prominent authors have also criticized the idea that attachment theory can replace concepts like love styles or types of love.<ref>{{harvnb|Hendrick|Hendrick|2006|pp=162-163}}</ref><ref name="4th-dim"/>

A 1990 study found that the 15% of participants who self-reported an anxious attachment style scored highly on limerence measures (especially obsessive preoccupation and emotional dependence scales), but found considerable overlap of distributions between all three attachment styles and limerence.<ref name="feeneynoller" /> Studies and a meta-analysis by Bianca Acevedo & [[Arthur Aron]] found that while passionate love with obsession is associated with relationship satisfaction in short-term relationships, it's associated with slightly decreased satisfaction over the long-term and they speculate this could be related to insecure attachment.<ref name="acevedo2009">{{Cite journal |last1=Acevedo |first1=Bianca |last2=Aron |first2=Arthur |date=1 March 2009 |title=Does a Long-Term Relationship Kill Romantic Love? |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1037/a0014226 |journal=[[Review of General Psychology]] |volume=13 |issue=1 |pages=59–65 |doi=10.1037/a0014226|url-access=subscription }}: "Passionate love, 'a state of intense longing for union with another' (Hatfield & Rapson, 1993, p. 5), also referred to as [...] 'limerence' (Tennov, 1979), includes an obsessive element, characterized by intrusive thinking, uncertainty, and mood swings."</ref>

=== Love styles ===
[[Colour wheel theory of love|Love styles]] are a concept invented by the [[Sociology|sociologist]] [[John Alan Lee]] which can be understood as different ways to love, or different kinds of love stories.<ref name=":20">{{Cite journal |last=Lee |first=John Alan |date=1977b |title=A Typology of Styles of Loving |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/014616727700300204 |journal=Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin |language=en |volume=3 |issue=2 |pages=173–182 |doi=10.1177/014616727700300204 |issn=0146-1672|url-access=subscription }}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=1}}</ref> Limerence is sometimes considered similar or related to the love style mania (or manic love), named after the Greek ''theia mania'' (the madness from the gods).<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=41–43,93}}</ref><ref name="feeneynoller" /><ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=86}}</ref> Lee developed his concept of manic love in relation to some of the same sources as Tennov, such as [[Andreas Capellanus]] and [[courtly love]].<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=93}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=174–175}}</ref><ref name="Lee 1998 54–55"/>

A manic lover is obsessively preoccupied with the beloved.<ref name="Lee 1988 45">{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=45}}</ref> When asked to recall their childhood, a typical manic lover recalls it as unhappy, and they are usually lonely, dissatisfied adults.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=51}}</ref> They are anxious to fall in love; however, they are unsure of which physical type they prefer.<ref name=":20" /> Because they are unsure of who to fall in love with, they often fall in love with somebody quite inappropriate (even somebody they initially dislike) and project onto them qualities they want but do not actually have.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=102}}</ref><ref name="Lee 1988 46">{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=46}}</ref> According to Lee, "Mania can become almost an addiction nearly impossible for the addict to end on his own initiative."<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=97}}</ref> Mania is often the first love style of a young person, but others may not experience it until middle age—for example, after a marriage has lost its interest.<ref name="Lee 1988 46"/> According to Lee, a cycle of manic loves is often caused by a desperate need to be in love, the cause of which the manic lover must locate and remedy to break free.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=47}}</ref>

While Lee describes the manic lover as jealous,<ref name="Lee 1988 45"/> Tennov states that people can be limerent and not be jealous. Rather, according to Tennov, what a limerent person desires is exclusivity and this is often mistaken for jealousy.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=114}}</ref>

Among the other love styles, mania can be closely compared to eros (or erotic love). Both are often considered "romantic love", and mania and eros taken together correspond to passionate love.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=88–90}}</ref><ref name="acevedo2009" /> Like the manic lover, the erotic lover is also intensely preoccupied with their beloved, but the thoughts are optimistic while a manic lover is insecure.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=89–90,94}}</ref> Unlike a manic lover, the erotic lover is aware of which physical type they consider ideal.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=46,50}}</ref> As such, eros begins with a powerful initial attraction, referred to by [[Stendhal]] as "a sudden sensation of recognition and hope".<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=10–11}}</ref> Because the erotic lover is in search of an ideal, the eros love style is ''not'' "blind".<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=43}}</ref> According to Lee, only manic lovers typically "crystallize" and ignore the shortcomings and flaws of their beloved.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|p=22}}</ref> The erotic lover also recalls their childhood as happy and eros has been associated with secure attachment, while mania has been associated with attachment anxiety and [[neuroticism]].<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|p=50}}</ref><ref>{{Cite journal |last=Karandashev |first=Victor |date=December 2022 |title=Adaptive and Maladaptive Love Attitudes |url=https://interpersona.psychopen.eu/index.php/interpersona/article/view/6283 |journal=Interpersona: An International Journal on Personal Relationships |volume=16 |issue=2 |pages=158–177 |doi=10.5964/ijpr.6283 |doi-access=free}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Hendrick|Hendrick|2006|p=156}}</ref> A third love style, manic eros, is a mixture of the two, where the lover is "moving either toward a more stable eros or toward full-blown mania". Some are typical erotic lovers under a temporary strain (moving toward mania), while others are typical manic lovers with a self-confident and helping partner (moving toward eros).<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1977a|pp=170-172}}</ref>

According to Lee, the love style ludus (noncommittal love as a game, avoidance and juggling multiple partners) and mania possess a "fatal attraction" for one another. It's surprisingly common, but not a good match for happy, mutual love.<ref>{{harvnb|Lee|1988|pp=44–45,50,54}}</ref>

===Erotomania===

Limerence is sometimes compared to [[erotomania]];<ref name="thelovedrug" /><ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=60–61,265}}</ref> however, erotomania is defined as a [[delusional disorder]] where the sufferer has a delusional belief that the object of their affection is madly in love with them when they are not.<ref name="fisher2016">{{cite journal |last1=Fisher |first1=Helen |last2=Xu |first2=Xiaomeng |last3=Aron |first3=Arthur |last4=Brown |first4=Lucy |date=9 May 2016 |title=Intense, Passionate, Romantic Love: A Natural Addiction? How the Fields That Investigate Romance and Substance Abuse Can Inform Each Other |journal=[[Frontiers in Psychology]] |volume=7 |page=687 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2016.00687 |pmc=4861725 |pmid=27242601 |doi-access=free}}</ref><ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|pp=163–167}}</ref> A person suffering from erotomania might interpret subtle, irrelevant details (such as their love object wearing a particular accessory) as coded declarations of love, and the sufferer will invent ways to interpret outright rejections as unserious so they can continue believing the object is secretly in love with them.<ref>{{harvnb|Tallis|2004|p=164}}</ref>

According to [[Dorothy Tennov]], a person experiencing limerence might misinterpret signals and falsely believe that their LO reciprocates the feeling when they do not, but they are receptive to negative cues, especially when receiving a clear rejection.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|pp=60–61,94–95,267}}</ref>

=== Love addiction ===
Because limerence is compared to [[addiction]], it is sometimes compared to or contrasted with what is called "[[love addiction]]", although according to modern research all romantic love may work like an addiction at the level of the [[brain]].<ref name=":12" /><ref name=":18" /><ref name="fisher2016" /> There's an academic discussion over whether all love is an addiction, or whether "love addiction" only refers to brain processes which could be considered abnormal.<ref name=":3">{{Cite journal |last1=Earp |first1=Brian D. |last2=Wudarczyk |first2=Olga A. |last3=Foddy |first3=Bennett |last4=Savulescu |first4=Julian |date=2017 |title=Addicted to Love: What Is Love Addiction and When Should It Be Treated? |journal=Philosophy, Psychiatry, & Psychology |language=en |volume=24 |issue=1 |pages=77–92 |doi=10.1353/ppp.2017.0011 |issn=1086-3303 |pmc=5378292 |pmid=28381923}}</ref> The term has had an amorphous definition over the years and it does not yet denote a [[psychiatric condition]], but recently one definition has been developed that "Individuals addicted to love tend to experience negative moods and affects when away from their partners and have the strong urge and craving to see their partner as a way of coping with stressful situations."<ref name=":14">{{Cite journal |last1=Costa |first1=Sebastiano |last2=Barberis |first2=Nadia |last3=Griffiths |first3=Mark D. |last4=Benedetto |first4=Loredana |last5=Ingrassia |first5=Massimo |date=2021-06-01 |title=The Love Addiction Inventory: Preliminary Findings of the Development Process and Psychometric Characteristics |journal=International Journal of Mental Health and Addiction |language=en |volume=19 |issue=3 |pages=651–668 |doi=10.1007/s11469-019-00097-y |issn=1557-1882 |doi-access=free}}</ref> This definition is given in terms of a relationship, although limerence is usually unrequited.<ref name=":14" /><ref name="thelovedrug" />