Editing Breakup (section)

== Consequences ==

Depending on the individual, breakups can be stressful, unpleasant, and traumatic events. Both parties could feel a large number of negative effects as a result of the relationship's dissolution, and these events often gain the reputation for being some of the worst events in people's lives. These could include psychological distress symptoms, grief reactions, an overall decline in psychological well-being, and potential stalking behaviors. Individuals often work hard to keep their relationships intact because of how significantly distressing and problematic these negative effects can be, even in the face of potential complications in their relationship, for as long as they can bear it.<ref>{{Cite web |title=“I’ll never be in a relationship like that again”: Personal growth following romantic relationship breakups {{!}} Request PDF |url=https://www.researchgate.net/publication/227716256_I'll_never_be_in_a_relationship_like_that_again_Personal_growth_following_romantic_relationship_breakups |archive-url=http://web.archive.org/web/20230923005747/https://www.researchgate.net/publication/227716256_I'll_never_be_in_a_relationship_like_that_again_Personal_growth_following_romantic_relationship_breakups |archive-date=2023-09-23 |access-date=2025-01-26 |website=ResearchGate |language=en}}</ref>

=== Negative effects ===

==== Psychological distress symptoms ====

Individuals who had just recently experienced the dissolution of a romantic relationship reported several symptoms of acute [[psychological distress]]. These included flashback and intrusive memories associated with their partner, often triggered by important dates associated with either the relationship or the breakup.<ref name=":4">{{Cite journal |last1=Chung |first1=M.C. |last2=Farmer |first2=S. |last3=Grant |first3=K. |last4=Newton |first4=R. |last5=Payne |first5=S. |last6=Perry |first6=M. |last7=Saunders |first7=J. |last8=Smith |first8=C. |last9=Stone |first9=N. |date=2002 |title=Self-esteem, personality and post-traumatic stress symptoms following the dissolution of a dating relationship |journal=Stress and Health |volume=18 |issue=2 |pages=83–90 |doi=10.1002/smi.929}}</ref> These intrusive distress symptoms manifested in various ways for both the individual who initiated the breakup and their partner, such as being reminded of certain aspects of their behavior or their preferences.

Another set of psychological distress symptoms that were reported by individuals who had experienced a romantic relationship breakup fell under the category of avoidance behavior.<ref name=":4" /><ref name=":5">{{Cite journal|last1=Samios|first1=C.|last2=Henson|first2=D.F.|last3=Simpson|first3=H.J.|date=2014|title=Benefit finding and psychological adjustment following a non-marital relationship breakup|journal=Journal of Relationships Research|volume=5 |issue=6|pages=1–8|doi=10.1017/jrr.2014.6|doi-access=free}}</ref> Being without their partner causes their self-concept to shift as they struggle through emotional distress.<ref name=":6">{{Cite journal|last1=Slotter|first1=E.B.|last2=Gardner|first2=W.L.|last3=Finkel|first3=E.J.|date=2010|title=Who am I without you? The influence of romantic breakup on the self-concept|journal=Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin|volume=36 |issue=2|pages=147–160|doi=10.1177/0146167209352250|pmid=20008964|s2cid=12216736}}</ref> This involves an active attempt at denying or ignoring the circumstances of the current situation, or those that led to the dissolution of the relationship. In relation to this, individuals also noted feeling numb and uninterested with the world around them because of the breakup.<ref name=":4" />

The combination of this desire to engage in avoidance behaviors and the intrusive memories that may naturally come up cause individuals to feel significant emotional swings and outbursts in the form of irritation, anger, and startle responses. Individuals were noted as being far more paranoid, suspicious, and jealous, often tied towards a desire to know information about their [[Ex (relationship)|ex-partner]].<ref name=":4" /><ref name=":5" />

Overall, these psychological distress symptoms come together to result in a significantly lower level of self-esteem among individuals who have just undergone the dissolution of a romantic relationship.<ref name=":4" /> Additionally, individuals undergo a significant redefinition of their self-concept, as they attempt to understand who they are without their ex-partner.<ref name=":6" /> This compounds upon the psychological distress symptoms that they feel from the loss of the relationship and is the most significant negative effect that people undergoing a breakup experience.

==== Grief reactions ====

A natural effect of the loss of a relationship that an individual had hoped to keep is grief, because the desire to keep relationships intact despite problems and complications is a natural human desire.<ref name=":0">{{Cite journal |last1=Eastwick |first1=P.W. |last2=Finkel |first2=E.J. |last3=Krishnamurti |first3=T. |last4=Lowenstein |first4=G. |date=2008 |title=Mispredicting distress following romantic breakup: Revealing the time course of the affective forecasting error |journal=Journal of Experimental Social Psychology |volume=44 |issue=3 |pages=800–807 |doi=10.1016/j.jesp.2007.07.001}}</ref> This results in individuals undergoing a breakup displaying grief reactions that include symptoms like sleeplessness, depression, and [[suicidal thoughts]].<ref name=":1">{{Cite journal |last1=Collins |first1=T.J. |last2=Gillath |first2=O. |author2-link=Omri Gillath |date=2012 |title=Attachment, breakup strategies, and associated outcomes: The effects of security enhancement on the selection of breakup strategies |journal=Journal of Research in Personality |volume=46 |issue=2 |pages=210–222 |doi=10.1016/j.jrp.2012.01.008}}</ref><ref name=":4" /><ref name=":5" /><ref name=":7">{{Cite journal|last=Mearns|first=J.|date=1991|title=Coping with a breakup: negative mood regulation expectancies and depression following the end of a romantic relationship|journal=Journal of Personality and Social Psychology|volume=60 |issue=2|pages=327–34|pmid=2016673|doi=10.1037/0022-3514.60.2.327}}</ref> This tendency to express grief and depression is so prevalent that researchers point to it being a significant contributor to the first onset of major depressive disorder in young adults.<ref name=":2">{{Cite journal |last1=Tashiro |first1=T.Y. |last2=Frazier |first2=P. |date=2003 |title="I'll never be in a relationship like that again": Personal growth following romantic relationship breakups |journal=Personal Relationships |volume=10 |issue=1 |pages=113–128 |doi=10.1111/1475-6811.00039}}</ref><ref name=":6" />

The extent of these grief reactions is not limited to the time frame immediately following the dissolution of the romantic relationship. Even some time after the breakup, people who are asked to recall depressing or negative events in their lives commonly make reference to traumatic events of this nature.<ref name=":0" /> This negative effect can be attributed to the severity of the grief reaction that people who suffer through a breakup display, making a significant mark in their lives that they are unlikely to forget.

==== Decline in psychological well-being ====
In addition to these specific negative effects, individuals who are suffering through a breakup report a general decline in their psychological well-being. The general negative emotion that they feel often triggers other behaviors and habits that are either detrimental to their mental health or signify poor mental health conditions.<ref name=":4" /> These include:

*increased alcohol use
*weight loss
*worsening physical health
*admissions to psychiatric services
*increased criminal behavior
*increased risk of suicide
*negative emotions and feelings (such as guilt, anger, or [[Social rejection|rejection]])

==== Stalking behaviors ====
A behavior that has been noticed following some breakups is the prevalence of [[stalking]] as one partner attempts to maintain contact with the other, however unwanted it may be. This type of behavior exists on a scale that stretches from an amicable breakup with no unwanted harassment behaviors all the way to stalking behaviors that are threatening and distressful to the partner.<ref name=":8">{{Cite journal|last=Roberts|first=K.A.|date=2002|title=Stalking following the breakup of romantic relationships: Characteristics of stalking former partners|journal=Journal of Forensic Sciences|volume=47 |issue=5|pages=1070–1077|doi=10.1520/JFS15514J|pmid=12353550}}</ref> This behavior stems from an unhappiness with the circumstances following the dissolution of the relationship, as well as a misguided belief that the stalking behavior may result in the reforming of the relationship. There is no clear definition of stalking behavior that differentiate it from socially acceptable activities; they become more sinister when they are unwanted and form a persistent pattern.<ref name=":8" />

=== Positive effects ===

Evidence shows that even in the direst of situations, there is a chance for positive emotions and growth.<ref name=":5" /> Breakups are no different, giving victims opportunities for stress-related growth, improving their performance in future relationships, and providing feelings of relief and freedom. Jessica Kansky and Joseph P. Allen conducted a study that followed 160 20 to 25-year-olds, or emerging adults, and observed their romantic and close friend relationships. There were a significant number of findings, but one finding was that the experience of a break-up did prove positive in the long run for several individuals, especially if they knew the reason(s) the relationship ended.<ref>{{Cite journal |last1=Kansky |first1=Jessica |last2=Allen |first2=Joseph P. |date=2018 |title=Making Sense and Moving On: The Potential for Individual and Interpersonal Growth Following Emerging Adult Breakups |journal=Emerging Adulthood (Print) |volume=6 |issue=3 |pages=172–190 |doi=10.1177/2167696817711766 |issn=2167-6968 |pmc=6051550 |pmid=30034952}}</ref>

==== Stress-related growth ====
Individuals that are placed under stressful situations are often faced with an opportunity for growth and development as a result of this stress. Without this push to improve, individuals are often pushed towards complacency and refuse to make the necessary efforts to progress through life. Different ways in which people have exhibited growth following a stressful life event include improvements to the way a person views themselves, the way they connect with other people around them, or their overall approach to life. Research shows that breakups are highly representative of this type of stressful situation, as individuals experience them several times throughout their lives and have been known to self-report instances of growth because of the experience.<ref name=":2" />

==== Improved future relationships ====
Another positive outcome that has been observed to follow breakup has to do with the lessons that people may have learned from going through the painful experience. The stress-related growth that a person is forced to experience following a breakup causes improvements to their overall character, self-image, and ability to interact with others. These improvements have the potential to improve the quality of future romantic relationships with other people.<ref name=":2" /> This is due to the increased level of maturity displayed by the individual as well as, to a lesser extent, insight into certain things that they must avoid in a relationship to ensure better relationships in the future.

==== Feelings of relief and freedom ====

While this may not necessarily be a universal positive consequence that affects all people going through a breakup, there is significant evidence towards certain individuals experiencing feelings of relief, freedom, and happiness following the end of a relationship.<ref name=":9">{{Cite journal|last1=Yıldırım|first1=F.B.|last2=Demir|first2=A.|date=2015|title=Breakup adjustment in young adulthood|journal=Journal of Counseling and Development|volume=93 |issue=1|pages=38–44|doi=10.1002/j.1556-6676.2015.00179.x}}</ref> There is a high likelihood that these individuals were the one who initiated the breakup in the first place, but research has shown that there have been cases where individuals that have been victims of a breakup recognize that their past relationship was sub-optimal, which allows them to display the same emotions of relief, freedom, and happiness.

=== Mitigating factors ===
While individuals that have experienced a breakup are likely to experience a number of different positive and negative effects once the relationship has run its course, different people can expect these to manifest in varying degrees. This is because there are several mitigating factors that can either minimize or amplify the extent to which one feels the consequences of a breakup. The list of potential factors that have been shown to moderate the effects that an individual might feel are categorized and listed below:<ref name=":0" /><ref name=":3">{{Cite journal |last1=del Palacio-González |first1=A. |last2=Clark |first2=D.A. |last3=O'Sullivan |first3=L.F. |date=2017 |title=Distress severity following a romantic breakup is associated with positive relationship memories among emerging adults |url=https://pure.au.dk/ws/files/121035687/Distress_severity_following_a_romantic_breakup_Accepted_manuscript_2017.pdf |journal=Emerging Adulthood |volume=5 |issue=4 |pages=259–267 |doi=10.1177/2167696817704117 |s2cid=151955266}}</ref><ref name=":4" /><ref name=":5" /><ref name=":7" /><ref name=":8" /><ref name=":9" /><ref>{{Cite journal|last1=Smith|first1=H.S.|last2=Cohen|first2=L.H.|date=1993|title=Self-complexity and reactions to a relationship breakup|journal=Journal of Social and Clinical Psychology|volume=12 |issue=4|pages=367–384|doi=10.1521/jscp.1993.12.4.367}}</ref>

*Relationship quality
** Duration of relationship – longer relationships are more likely to be more painful after the breakup
** Admission of love for ex-partner – relationships that report to be filled with love may exacerbate the consequences that victims feel following a breakup
** Satisfaction levels of both parties – relationships that report both parties feeling satisfied are more likely to suffer during breakups
** Level of investment in maintaining the relationship – high levels of relationship investment translate to a much larger loss caused by the dissolution of the [[romantic relationship]]
** Proportion of positive and negative relationship memories – individuals that had a high number of positive relationship memories were less negatively affected by the breakup when compared to those that would constantly dredge up negative memories of their ex-partner
* Romantic situation following breakup
** Ease of finding an alternative partner – being able to find a new partner immediately following a breakup allowed the individual to better weather the negative emotions and problems associated with the dissolution of a romantic relationship
** Willingness to begin a new relationship – an openness to the formation of a new relationship was shown to translate to a lower level of victimization and negative consequences after a breakup
* Circumstances of the breakup
** Initiator of the dissolution of the relationship – while both the initiator and the victim were shown to experience consequences following the breakup, the former displayed less of these symptoms and in some cases experienced positive effects because the relationship ended
** Certainty of the reasons for the breakup – being unsure about the initiator's reasons for breaking up caused higher levels of anxiety and other stress symptoms in the victim, while achieving closure was an important step for most individuals seeking to move on from a breakup
* Characteristics of the participants
** Hardiness – individuals that displayed above average levels of hardiness were unfazed by the dissolution of their romantic relationship and were less likely to be bothered by its consequences
* [[Attachment theory|Attachment styles]] can play a big role in why a breakup occurs in the first place. Attachment styles define the expectations an individual has when in a relationship based on the relationship they had with their caregivers during childhood. The four attachment styles are Avoidant Attachment ( which is characterized by avoiding communication and withdrawing), Anxious / Ambivalent Attachment ( which is characterized by fear that a partner will not reciprocate the same love that the individual gives), Fearful Avoidant (Disorganized) Attachment (which is characterized by a fear of relationships and attempts to avoid them even while craving love and intimacy), and Secure Attachment (which is the style that is characterized by strong, healthy relationships).  These attachment styles can affect the behavior of one partner towards another and different attachment styles can clash. For instance, if one partner has an avoidant attachment and dates someone with a secure attachment style, the two partners may clash due to a lack of communication and several misunderstandings as these attachment styles come with expectations that are acted out in behavior that can eventually lead to a breakup.
** Self-esteem levels – high levels of self-esteem allow people to be less stressed during the dissolution of a relationship and alleviate the most severe negative consequences
** Mental health – individuals that display lower levels of mental health and [[substance abuse]] have reported magnified consequence levels when going through the breakup process
** Self-complexity – people that exhibit a complex self-image, which references an ability to perceive oneself as more than just who they are in their romantic relationship, are less likely to be debilitated by the consequences of a breakup
** Sex – several studies observed that females on average exhibited larger negative symptoms during the breakup process
* Implementation of coping strategies
** Distancing – avoiding the problem has been observed to translate to negative coping outcomes and a worsening of the consequences reported by the victim, while a willingness to confront the matter and engage in problem-solving has shown overall mitigative effects to breakup consequences
** Benefit-finding – the willingness to objectively assess the relationship, as well as an ability to find benefits that resulted from its ending allowed victims to display less stress symptoms during the breakup
** Perceived social support – individuals that felt like people in their social group were on their side and would support them during this stressful time reported being less affected by the breakup and loss of a romantic relationship