Editing Limerence (section)

=== Independent emotion systems ===
[[Helen Fisher (anthropologist)|Helen Fisher's]] popular theory of [[Biology of romantic love#Independent emotion systems|independent emotion systems]] posits that there are three primary biological systems involved with human [[reproduction]], [[mating]] and [[parenting]]: ''lust'' (the sex drive, or sexual desire), ''attraction'' (passionate love, infatuation or limerence) and ''attachment'' (companionate love). These three systems regularly work in concert together but serve different purposes and can also work independently.<ref name="fisher1998" /><ref name="fisher2002" /><ref name="co-opted">{{cite journal |last1=Bode |first1=Adam |date=16 October 2023 |title=Romantic love evolved by co-opting mother-infant bonding |journal=[[Frontiers in Psychology]] |volume=14 |doi=10.3389/fpsyg.2023.1176067 |pmc=10616966 |pmid=37915523 |doi-access=free}}</ref> According to Fisher, lust, attraction and attachment can occur in any order.<ref>{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=148}}</ref><ref>{{Cite web |last=Stuart |first=Julia |date=2007-02-13 |title=What exactly is love? |url=https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/what-exactly-is-love-436234.html |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250420201659/https://www.the-independent.com/life-style/health-and-families/health-news/what-exactly-is-love-436234.html |archive-date=20 April 2025 |access-date=2025-04-20 |website=[[The Independent]] |language=en}}</ref> Independent emotions theory has been critiqued as being oversimplified, but the general idea of separate systems remains useful.<ref name="co-opted" />

When limerence is a component in an [[affair]], for example, Fisher's theory can be used to help explain this.<ref name="fisher2002" /><ref>{{harvnb|Beam|2013|pp=72,75,84}}</ref> Fisher's theory is that while a person can feel deep attachment for a long-term spouse, they can ''also'' feel limerence for somebody else, just as how one can also feel sexual attraction towards other people.<ref name="fisher2002" /><ref>{{Cite news |last=Fisher |first=Helen |date=23 January 2014 |title=10 facts about infidelity |url=https://ideas.ted.com/10-facts-about-infidelity-helen-fisher/ |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20250106120646/https://ideas.ted.com/10-facts-about-infidelity-helen-fisher/ |archive-date=6 January 2025 |access-date=15 January 2025 |work=[[TED (conference)|TED.com]]}}</ref> [[Joe Beam]] comments that if somebody in a committed relationship ends up in limerence like this, it will pull them out of their relationship.<ref name=":13" />

Fisher's theory has also been used to explain why some people can feel "platonic" limerence without sexual desire, because sexual desire is separate from romantic love.<ref name="diamond2003" /><ref>{{Cite journal |last=Diamond |first=Lisa M. |date=2004 |title=Emerging Perspectives on Distinctions Between Romantic Love and Sexual Desire |url=https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00287.x |journal=Current Directions in Psychological Science |language=en |volume=13 |issue=3 |pages=116–119 |doi=10.1111/j.0963-7214.2004.00287.x |issn=0963-7214|url-access=subscription }}: "[M]ost researchers acknowledge a distinction between the earlier 'passionate' stage of love, sometimes called 'limerence' (Tennov, 1979), and the later-developing 'companionate' stage of love [...]. Although it may be easy to imagine sexual desire without romantic love, the notion of 'pure,' 'platonic,' or 'nonsexual' romantic love is somewhat more controversial. Yet empirical evidence indicates that sexual desire is not a prerequisite for romantic love, even in its earliest, passionate stages. Many men and women report having experienced romantic passion in the absence of sexual desire (Tennov, 1979) [...]."</ref><ref name="fisher1998" /> [[Lisa M. Diamond|Lisa Diamond]] argues this is possible even in contradiction to one's sexual orientation, because the brain systems evolved by [[Biology of romantic love#Co-option theory|repurposing the systems for mother-infant bonding]] (a process called [[exaptation]]). According to this theory, it would not have been adaptive for a parent to only be able to bond with an opposite sex child, so the systems must have evolved independent of sexual orientation. People most often fall in love because of sexual desire, but Diamond suggests time spent together and physical touch can serve as a substitute.<ref name="diamond2003" /> In [[Dorothy Tennov|Dorothy Tennov's]] conception, sexual attraction was an essential component of limerence (as a generalization); however she did note that occasionally people described to her what seemed to fit the pattern of limerence, but without sexual attraction.<ref>{{harvnb|Tennov|1999|p=24}}</ref> Additionally, for those who do have a sexual interest, their desire for emotional union and commitment is a far greater concern to them.<ref>{{harvnb|Fisher|2016|p=23}}</ref><ref name="Tennov 1999 x"/>