Editing Judith Martin

{{Short description|American etiquette authority (born 1938)}}
{{other people||Judy Martin (disambiguation)}}
{{Infobox writer
| name                    = Judith Martin
| image                   = Judith martin 5172412.JPG
| caption                 = Judith Martin in 2014
| birth_name              = Judith Perlman
| birth_date              = {{birth date and age|1938|09|13}}
| birth_place             = [[Washington, D.C.]], U.S.
| alma_mater              = [[Wellesley College]]
| occupation              = Journalist
}}
'''Judith Martin''' (née '''Perlman'''; born September 13, 1938<ref name=biod>{{cite book|title=Biographical dictionary of American newspaper columnists|author=Sam G. Riley|year=1995|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=a7kT7EDFakAC&q=Judith+Martin++1938+new+yorker&pg=PA198|publisher= [[Greenwood Publishing Group]] |page=198|isbn=978-0-313-29192-0}}</ref>), better known by the [[pen name]] '''Miss Manners''', is an American [[Column (periodical)|columnist]], author, and [[etiquette]] authority.

== Early life and career ==

Martin is the daughter of Helen and Jacob Perlman, both Jewish. Her father was born in 1898 in [[Białystok]], then part of the [[Russian Empire]], now in [[Poland]].  He immigrated to the United States in 1912. In 1925, he received his doctorate from the [[University of Wisconsin]], in economics. Jacob married Helen Aronson in 1935, and they moved to [[Washington, D.C.]], where Martin was born in 1938.<ref name="house">{{cite web|url=http://househistoryman.blogspot.com/2012/03/mystery-miss-manners-childhood-home-in.html|title=The House History Man: Mystery: Miss Manners Childhood Home in AU Park?|first=Paul|last=Williams|date=1 March 2012}}</ref>

Martin spent a significant part of her childhood in Washington, where she still lives and works, graduating from [[Jackson-Reed High School]] Class of 1955. She lived in various foreign capitals as a child, as her father, a [[United Nations]]<ref>''No Vulgar Hotel,'' p.  18.</ref> [[economist]], was frequently transferred. Martin graduated from [[Wellesley College]]<ref name=biod/> with a degree in English. Before she began the advice column, she was a journalist, covering social events at the [[White House]] and [[embassies]]; she then became a theater and [[film critic]].

== “Miss Manners” ==
In 1978, Martin began writing an [[advice column]], which was distributed three and later six times a week by [[Universal Uclick]] and carried in more than 200 newspapers worldwide. In the column, she answers etiquette questions contributed by her readers and writes short essays on problems of [[manners]], or clarifies the essential qualities of [[politeness]].

Martin writes about the ideas and intentions underpinning seemingly simple rules, providing a complex and advanced perspective, which she refers to as “{{visible anchor|heavy etiquette theory}}”. Her columns have been collected in a number of books. In her writings, Martin [[Illeism|refers to herself in the third person]] (e.g., “Miss Manners hopes&nbsp;.&nbsp;.&nbsp;.”).

In a 1995 interview by Virginia Shea, Martin said:

<blockquote>You can deny all you want that there is etiquette, and a lot of people do in everyday life. But if you behave in a way that offends the people you’re trying to deal with, they will stop dealing with you...There are plenty of people who say, “We don't care about etiquette, but we can't stand the way so-and-so behaves, and we don't want him around!” Etiquette doesn't have the great sanctions that the law has. But the main sanction we do have is in not dealing with these people and isolating them...<ref>{{cite journal|url=https://books.google.com/books?id=_27F9C_PqyIC&dq=You+can+deny+all+you+want+that+there+is+etiquette&pg=PA87 |title=In Depth: Miss Manners' Guide to Internet Behavior|journal=[[Computerworld]]|date=March 6, 1995|page=87|accessdate=October 28, 2021}}</ref></blockquote>

Martin identifies "blatant greed" as the most serious etiquette problem in the United States.<ref>{{cite news |url=http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Q-and-A-with-Miss-Manners.html |title=Q and A with Miss Manners |last=Childs |first=Arcynta Ali |date=July–August 2011 |work=Smithsonian Magazine |access-date=1 January 2013 |archive-date=8 February 2013 |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20130208015504/http://www.smithsonianmag.com/arts-culture/Q-and-A-with-Miss-Manners.html |url-status=dead }}</ref> The most frequently asked question she receives is how to politely demand cash from potential gift-givers (which she answers by stating that there is no polite way to do this), and the second most common question is how much potential guests must spend on a gift (determined by what the giver can afford, not by the event, relationship, related expenses or other factors).<ref>{{cite news |author=Miss Manners |url=https://www.washingtonpost.com/lifestyle/style/miss-manners-there-are-worthier-causes-than-underwriting-others-weddings/2012/09/15/5bcdf4f8-ff97-11e1-8adc-499661afe377_story.html |title=There are worthier causes than underwriting others' weddings |date=28 September 2012 |newspaper=[[The Washington Post]] |access-date=1 January 2013 |url-status=live |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20131010012145/http://articles.washingtonpost.com/2012-09-28/lifestyle/35494212_1_gift-registry-cash-gift-bride-and-groom |archive-date=10 October 2013 }}</ref>

On August 29, 2013, Martin's children, Nicholas and Jacobina, began sharing credit for her columns.<ref>{{cite news|url=http://www.stltoday.com/lifestyles/relationships-and-special-occasions/columns/miss-manners/workplace-gripes-are-often-a-play-for-sympathy/article_d30e6f02-aa6b-5f7d-9f98-3987dcda2ea1.html|title=Workplace gripes are often a play for sympathy
|author=Miss Manners|work=[[St. Louis Post-Dispatch]]|date=29 August 2013}}</ref>

== Other ==
Martin was the recipient of a 2005 [[National Humanities Medal]] from [[President of the United States|President]] [[George W. Bush]]. On March 23, 2006, she was a special guest correspondent on ''[[The Colbert Report]]'', giving her analysis of the manners with which the [[White House Press Corps]] spoke to the President.<ref>{{cite web |title=Miss Manners - The Colbert Report |url=https://www.cc.com/video/1q0pl8/the-colbert-report-miss-manners |archive-url=https://web.archive.org/web/20210624200440/https://www.cc.com/video/1q0pl8/the-colbert-report-miss-manners |url-status=dead |archive-date=June 24, 2021 |website=Comedy Central |date=23 March 2006 |access-date=18 June 2021 |language=en}}</ref>

Some of Martin's writings were collected and set to music by [[Dominick Argento]] in his [[song cycle]] ''Miss Manners on Music''.<ref>[http://www.upress.umn.edu/excerpts/Argento.html Argento excerpt<!-- Bot generated title -->] {{webarchive|url=https://web.archive.org/web/20080202140847/http://www.upress.umn.edu/excerpts/Argento.html |date=2008-02-02 }}</ref>

Judith Martin was a contributor for [[wowOwow]], a Web site for women to talk culture, politics, and gossip.<ref>{{cite web|last=Martin|first=Judith|title=No-Hassle Nuptials: How to Have a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding|url=http://www.wowowow.com/lifestyle/no-hassle-nuptials-how-to-have-a-surprisingly-dignified-wedding-by-judith-martin/|work=wowOwow|access-date=4 August 2011}}</ref>

Martin's uncle was [[Economics|economist]] and [[Trade union|labor]] historian [[Selig Perlman]].

Martin was portrayed by [[Broadway theatre]] actress [[Jessie Mueller]]<ref>{{cite web|url=http://www.playbill.com/article/jessie-mueller-will-make-her-feature-film-debut-in-steven-spielbergs-the-post|title=Jessie Mueller Will Make Her Feature Film Debut in Steven Spielberg's The Post - Playbill|website=Playbill}}</ref> in ''[[The Post (film)|The Post]]'', [[Steven Spielberg]]'s 2017 movie about the [[Pentagon Papers]].

== Books ==

=== Etiquette ===
* ''Miss Manners' Guide to Excruciatingly Correct Behavior'' (1982)
* ''Miss Manners' Guide to Rearing Perfect Children'' (1984)<ref>Briefly reviewed in ''[[The New Yorker]]'' (14 January 1985) : 119.</ref>
* ''Common Courtesy: In Which Miss Manners Solves the Problem That Baffled Mr. Jefferson'' (1985)
* ''Miss Manners' Guide for the Turn-of-the-Millennium'' (1989)
* ''Miss Manners on Painfully Proper Weddings'' (1995)
* ''Miss Manners Rescues Civilization: From Sexual Harassment, Frivolous Lawsuits, Dissing and Other Lapses in Civility'' (1996)
* ''Miss Manners' Basic Training: Communication'' (1996)
* ''Miss Manners' Basic Training: Eating'' (1997)
* ''Miss Manners' Basic Training: The Right Thing To Say'' (1998)
* ''Miss Manners on Weddings'' (1999)
* ''Miss Manners' Guide to Domestic Tranquility: The Authoritative Manual for Every Civilized Household, However Harried'' (1999)
* ''Miss Manners: A Citizen's Guide to Civility'' (1999)
* ''Star-Spangled Manners: In Which Miss Manners Defends American Etiquette'' (2002)
* ''Miss Manners' Guide to a Surprisingly Dignified Wedding'' with Jacobina Martin (2010)
* ''Miss Manners Minds Your Business'' with Nicholas Ivor Martin (2013)
* ''Miss Manners' Guide to Contagious Etiquette'' with Nicholas Martin and Jacobina Martin (2020)
* ''Minding Miss Manners: In an Era of Fake Etiquette'' (2020)

=== Other subjects ===

*''The Name on the White House Floor'' (1972)
*''Gilbert: A Comedy Of Manners'' (fiction; 1982)
*''Style and Substance:  A Comedy of Errors'' (fiction; 1982)
* ''No Vulgar Hotel: The Desire and Pursuit of Venice'' (2007)

== See also ==

* [[Adolph Freiherr Knigge]]
* [[Amy Vanderbilt]]
* ''[[Book of the Civilized Man]]''
* [[Emily Post]]
* [[Letitia Baldrige]]

== References ==

{{Reflist}}

== External links ==

{{wikiquote}}
* [http://www.uexpress.com/missmanners Miss Manners (Uexpress)]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20041029104321/http://www.taemag.com/issues/articleid.17372/article_detail.asp American Enterprise interview with Judith Martin]
* [https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-srv/style/longterm/movies/review97/empirestrikesbackmartin.htm Judith Martin reviews ''The Empire Strikes Back'']
* [https://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/articles/A26699-2004Oct12.html Judith Martin reviews ''Superman'' (1978)]
* [http://town.hall.org/radio/Club/101593_club_ITH.html Judith Martin at the National Press Club]
* [https://web.archive.org/web/20030422170445/http://www.commonwealthclub.org/archive/02/02-11martin-speech.html Judith Martin's Interview with the Commonwealth Club of California]
*[https://web.archive.org/web/20090228214621/http://www.wowowow.com/users/judith Judith Martin] at [[wowOwow]]
* [http://nrs.harvard.edu/urn-3:RAD.SCHL:sch01207 Letters to "Miss Manners," 1978-1998.] [http://radcliffe.harvard.edu/schlesinger-library Schlesinger Library], Radcliffe Institute, Harvard University.
* {{C-SPAN|32772}}

{{United Media}}

{{Authority control}}

{{DEFAULTSORT:Martin, Judith}}
[[Category:1938 births]]
[[Category:Living people]]
[[Category:American advice columnists]]
[[Category:American women columnists]]
[[Category:American women journalists]]
[[Category:Georgetown Day School alumni]]
[[Category:Etiquette writers]]
[[Category:Illeists]]
[[Category:Journalists from Washington, D.C.]]
[[Category:Wellesley College alumni]]
[[Category:National Humanities Medal recipients]]
[[Category:American people of Polish-Jewish descent]]
[[Category:21st-century American women]]
[[Category:Jews from Washington, D.C.]]