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Glossary of BDSM

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Most of the terms used in Wikipedia glossaries are already defined and explained within Wikipedia itself. However, lists like the following indicate where new articles need to be written and are also useful for looking up and comparing large numbers of terms together.

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Most of the terms used in Wikipedia glossaries are already defined and explained within Wikipedia itself. However, lists like the following indicate where new articles need to be written and are also useful for looking up and comparing large numbers of terms together.

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File:Ostra - Ballet Spanking.jpg
Erotic spanking image taken at Studio Biederer, Paris, 1930

This glossary of BDSM (an initialism for bondage, discipline, domination, submission, sadism, and masochism) defines terms commonly used in the BDSM community.

BDSM activities are described as play in BDSM terminology.<ref name=":0">Wiseman, Jay (2001) Ten Tips for the Novice, Single, Heterosexual Submissive Woman</ref>

EtymologyEdit

BDSM abbreviations have their origins in classified personal advertisements, where euphemisms for paraphilic and socially disapproved practices were required by periodical editors to circumvent censorship and obscenity law.

The term BDSM is a portmanteau of initialisms intended to encompass all of the following activities:

Capitalization conventionsEdit

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BDSM glossaryEdit

  • 24/7: A relationship in which protocols are in place continuously.<ref name="tf/7">Template:Cite journal</ref>
  • Abrasion: Use of friction with a rough surface against the receptive partner. May be used to sensitize an area of skin.<ref name="abra1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="abra2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="abra3">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Adult baby/diaper lover (ABDL): A form of ageplay; adult babies receive gratification from role-playing an infant.<ref name="abl1">Template:Cite journal</ref> This can involve submission on the adult baby's part. Diaper lovers receive gratification from the wearing and often using of diapers.<ref name="abl1" /> Whilst these two paraphilias are distinct, it is common that a person who enjoys one will also enjoy the other to some degree.
  • Aftercare: The time after a BDSM scene or play session in which the participants calm down, discuss the previous events and their personal reactions to them, and slowly come back in touch with reality.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • BDSM: Bondage/Discipline, Dominance/Submission, Sadism/Masochism: a combined acronym often used as a catchall for anything in the kink scene.
  • Blackmail: Commonly referred to as consensual blackmail. Where a submissive provides material that would be undesirable or have personal or career consequences for them if it was made public, in order to force them to stay in a relationship. The material can also be in the form of naked photos or videos of them or such material taken as part of BDSM sessions. Commonly used as part of consensual non-consent where they can only refuse to perform an activity or have an action performed if such material is released to the public or some individuals.
  • Bondage: Acts involving the physical restraint of a partner.<ref name="Keesling">Template:Cite book</ref> Bondage typically refers to total restraint, but it can be limited to a particular body part, such as breast bondage.
  • Bottom: One who receives physical sensation from a top in a scene; the receiving partner.
  • Brat / Bratting Template:Anchor: A sub who behaves disobediently, mischievously, or uncontrollably; often to provoke a response. This dynamic is consented to by both parties, where the top is often referred to as a "brat tamer".<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref>Template:Cite journal</ref>

  • Butt plug: A sex toy that is designed to be inserted into the rectum for sexual pleasure.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref> They come in a variety of sizes; some can vibrate.<ref name="vice1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="vice2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> Sometimes used in Petplay, with a tail attached.<ref name="vice3">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> Some plugs have a locking mechanism that can increase the erotic or humiliation factor by preventing self-removal.

  • Chastity: A form of erotic sexual denial or orgasm denial whereby a person is prevented (often with a locking device) from access to, or stimulation of, their genitals, save at the whim or choice of their partner.<ref name="chaste">Template:Cite journal</ref>
  • Cock and ball torture (CBT): Torture of the penis and testicles for sexual gratification.<ref name="Gorden">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Collared: Submissive or slave who is owned, usually (but certainly not exclusively) in a loving intimate relationship. A dominant may have multiple persons collared. Also: a pup's status, as differentiated from a "stray".Template:Citation needed
  • Collaring: The formal acceptance by a dominant of a sub's service. Also, the ceremony when a dominant commits to a sub (much like a wedding or other contract).<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="ev">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}Template:Cbignore</ref>

  • Contrapolar stimulation: "Hurts so good!” A type of physical stimulation that incorporates feeling of both pleasure and pain.<ref name="glossary">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Consensual non-consent (CNC): An agreement where parties act as if consent has been waived. Consent is given in advance for some or any actions, and the dominant has the discretion to continue with any action or activity, even after the subject would have otherwise indicated they wish to withdraw consent.<ref>"Consensual non-consent" Template:Webarchive, Informed Consent dictionary, Accessed 12 June 2012.</ref><ref>Dictionary of BDSM Terms Template:Webarchive, "Consensual Non-Consent", Accessed 12 June 2012.</ref>
  • Consent: Mutual agreement to terms of action, as in a scene or ongoing BDSM relationship.
  • D/s: Dominance/submission: play or relationships that involve a psychologically-based power exchange.
  • DDlg: Roleplaying where a "Daddy Dom" acts as a paternal figure to a "little girl" submissive. This dynamic is not necessarily sexual and is centered around trust and care.<ref name="defineddlg">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="lovegasm">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Dungeon monitor (DM): A person who supervises the interactions between participants at a play party or dungeon to enforce house rules—essentially, the bouncer of a BDSM event. They may also help in basic ways, such as giving water to participants.<ref name="dm1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Dom: A person who exercises control (from dominant – contrasted with sub). This term is generally used for male dominants, but can be used for anyone regardless of gender.<ref name=":0" />
  • Dominant: A person who exercises control – contrasted with submissive.
  • Domme: A female dominant (see also Dominatrix).
  • Domspace: The euphoric state of mind a dom may enter during a scene.<ref name="spaces">Template:Cite journal</ref> May include an intensified perception of the scene.<ref name="dspace1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Dungeon: A room or area containing BDSM equipment and space for scenes.<ref name="dm1"/>
  • Edgeplay: Higher risk activity, physically and/or emotionally. Because the definition of edgeplay is subjective to the specific players (i.e., what is risky for one person may not be as risky for another), there is not a universal list of what is included in edgeplay. Examples may include bloodplay, breath play and gunplay.<ref name="edge1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

|CitationClass=web }}</ref> vagina, or urethra.<ref name="gin2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Financial domination: (Also known as money slavery or findom) is a sexual fetish associated with a practice of dominance and submission, where a submissive (money slave, finsub, paypig, human ATM, or cash piggy) will give gifts and money to a financial dominant (money Mistress/Master, findomme/findom, money Dom/Domme or cash Master/Mistress).
  • Fisting: Inserting a hand into the vagina or rectum.<ref>Template:Citation</ref>
    File:Fisting close-up (cropped).jpg
    A woman getting fisted by a man
  • Forced orgasm: Where a subject has no control in being brought to orgasm, either through physical or mental restraint. May also be used where a female is continuously brought to orgasm to the point of it becoming painful, uncomfortable, or numb, rather than being pleasurable.
  • Genitorture: Torture of the genitals.
  • Golden showers: Urinating on, or being urinated on by, another person.<ref name="wp1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Good pain / Bad pain: Terms used to distinguish pleasurable pain from undesirable pain. Consent and context is important, and safewords are used to manage the need for changes in the scene to address "bad pain".<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Gorean: A lifestyle based on the fictional slavery practice outlined in John Norman novels.<ref name="BBC">Template:Cite news</ref><ref name="Guar">Template:Cite news</ref> The dynamic is typically male-dominant and female-submissive ("kajia"<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>).It is generally seen as distinct from the BDSM community at large.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Gunplay: The practice of including actual (or simulated) firearms into a scene.<ref name="gp1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="gp2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Handkerchief codes: A code used to indicate to others one's area of interest in a sexual context, ex: a Handkerchief worn on the left indicates a top, on the right indicates a bottom; generally used in an LGBT context.
  • Hard limits: What someone absolutely will not do; non-negotiable (as opposed to "soft limits").<ref name="limit1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="l2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Hogtie: Tying up a submissive's wrists and ankles, fastening them together behind their back using physical restraints, such as rope or cuffs.
File:BDSM whipping.jpg
Flogging at the Up Your Alley Fair, San Francisco, 2006
  • Impact play: Part of sensation play, dealing with impacts from whips, riding crops, paddles, floggers, etc.<ref name="impact1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref> Template:Multiple image

  • Inspection: A form of scenario play, usually in a Master/slave-like relationship, where a submissive has to strip naked at the command of a dominant and adopt a pose to have their body, posture, grooming, and appearance inspected.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref> They may also have the execution of other duties examined during this time. During an inspection, areas of their body and their state may be examined.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> After an inspection, a sub may be rewarded for passing or punished for failing. Inspections may also be performed for eroticism or objectification, either in private or in view of others.

  • Kinbaku (Shibari): Literally means "tight binding.".<ref name="kin1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="kin2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> Kinbaku is a Japanese style of bondage which combines elegant simplicity and intricate patterns into Kinbaku-bi ("beauty of tight binding.").<ref name="kin2" /><ref name="kin1" />

  • Kinky sex: Any sexual act that is generally considered to be unconventional.<ref name=":6" /><ref name=Tomaasilli-2009>Template:Cite journal</ref>
  • Klismaphilia See enema play.
  • Knife play: Slow, methodical sensation of the bottom with the edges and points of knives, usually without cutting the skin. Fear of the weapon plays a large part in the stimulus of the bottom.<ref name="knife1">Template:Cite book</ref>
  • Limits: What someone will not participate in (hard limits) or is hesitant to do so (soft limits).<ref name="limit1" /><ref name="l2" />
  • Masochism: Act of receiving pleasure from acts involving the receipt or infliction of pain or humiliation.<ref name=longman>Template:Cite book</ref><ref name=":3">Template:Cite book</ref>
  • Masochist: Person who enjoys pain, often sexually.<ref name="mas1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="mas2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Master/slave: A consensual relationship where people enter a D/s dynamic with a focus on service and obedience.<ref name="Rubel">Template:Cite book</ref> This may be part of a 24/7 lifestyle and/or multiple scenes. A collaring ceremony may be performed where a Master symbolically or literally places a collar on the slave to establish "ownership", often around the neck or wrists/ankles. This type of collar often differs from a scene-specific restraint and may be worn 24/7 or only during scenes.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref> Non-gendered terms such as "Mx" can be used .<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • MDLB: Mommy Domme/Little Boy, the female-led version of DDLG, a subset of Dominance and submission. While this lifestyle may or may not involve ageplay, the name refers to the nurturing relationship of parent/child.
  • File:Exxxotica NJ 2013-066.jpg
    Two women mummified with pallet wrap and duct tape, restraining their entire bodies, at Exxxotica 2013
    Mummification: Full body bondage that completely immobilizes the one wrapped up.<ref name="mum2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="mum1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Munch: A non-sexual BDSM meetup at a "vanilla" location with appropriate attire. Munches are typically networking, education and community events rather than for "cruising".<ref name=":6">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="Warren-2012">Template:Cite book</ref><ref name="Harrington-2012">Template:Cite book</ref>

  • Needle play: Piercings done with sterile needles of varying gauges, usually only for the duration of a scene. The upper back, buttocks and thighs are popular locations for needles. This type of scene is rarely available at public events due to medical risks associated with blood.<ref name="nee1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Nose torture: A traditionally Japanese form of BDSM often involving nose hooks.<ref name="rhino1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Pain slut: A person who enjoys receiving a heavy degree of pain.<ref name="ps">Template:Cite book</ref>
  • Pegging: A sexual practice in which typically a woman penetrates a man's anus with a strap-on dildo.<ref name=nault>Template:Cite journal</ref>
  • Play party: A BDSM event involving many people engaging in scenes.<ref name=Brame>Brame G. (2001) Come Hither! A Commonsense Guide to Kinky Sex, Fusion Press, London, page 63. Template:ISBN.</ref><ref name=Demyst>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name=Glossary>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref> Generally, there is are dedicated areas for socializing, changing into fetishwear, and BDSM/sexual activities.<ref name=Newman>Newman F. (2004) The Whole Lesbian Sex Book: A Passionate Guide, Cleis Press, San Francisco, page 271-277. Template:ISBN.</ref>

File:ColognePride 2014 - Straßenparade-2787.jpg
Animal roleplay at Cologne Pride, 2014
  • Ponyboy or Ponygirl: A sub dressed in a pony outfit, with mouth bit and anal plug with a tail. They are told to prance or behave like a pony.
  • Post-orgasm torture: Uncomfortable or painful stimulation of the genitals immediately after orgasm, when these are in a more sensitive state.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Personal Responsibility, Informed, Consensual Kink (PRICK): A framework that emphasizes shared responsibility for understanding and communicating risks. Combines aspects of SSC and RACK to address criticisms of each.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

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  • Pussy torture: Torture of the vulva or vagina for sexual gratification.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>Template:Multiple image

  • Risk Aware Consensual Kink (RACK): Describes a philosophical perspective within the BDSM community that prioritizes informed consent and awareness of the risks involved in BDSM activities. Unlike other guidelines that may focus on ensuring activities are inherently "safe," RACK emphasizes the importance of all participants being fully educated about the risks they are taking.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

File:BoundCon 2013 bondage challenge 7.jpg
Rope bondage in an uncomfortable bondage position at BoundCon, 2013
  • Rope bondage: The act of tying up or binding a person with rope such as in Japanese Kinbaku.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>
  • Ruination: Bringing someone to the edge of orgasm and preventing climax.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref> See also Edging (sexual practice) and Forced orgasm.

  • Sadism: The act of receiving pleasure from inflicting pain.<ref name="sad1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="sad2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Sadist: A person who enjoys inflicting pain, usually sexually.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>
  • Safe, Sane and Consensual (SSC): A guideline, used by some in the BDSM community, that emphasizes ensuring that activities are safe, all participants have capacity to give consent, and explicit consent is obtained from all parties involved. This approach is sometimes contrasted with RACK (Risk-Aware Consensual Kink), which emphasizes informed risk-taking over predetermined notions of safety.<ref>Henkin, Bill; Holiday, Sybil (2006). Consensual Sadomasochism: How to Talk About It and How to Do It Safely, page 64. Daedalus Publishing Company. Template:ISBN</ref>
  • Safeword: A mutually agreed upon word, phrase or gesture that can be used at any time to communicate the need for reduced intensity, a break or an immediate stop. Common safewords include "Yellow" to slow down/reduce intensity, and "Red" or "Safeword" to immediately stop. If the bottom is unable to communicate verbally, a gesture such as making a fist or raising/dropping an arm can be used for the same purpose.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref>Template:Cite news</ref>

  • Scat play: Feces play.<ref name="scat1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Scene: Refers to the setting and participation of a BDSM activity.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }} Dom Sub Glossary</ref><ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }} Mistress Sky terms</ref>

|CitationClass=web }}Template:Cbignore</ref>

  • Service submission: A person who enjoys performing a service in a sexual or BDSM environment.<ref name="ss1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}Template:Cbignore</ref>

  • Slave: A submissive who consensually gives up total control of one or more aspects of their life to another person (their Master).<ref name="Rubel"/>
  • Soft limits: Something that someone is hesitant to do or is nervous to try. They can sometimes be talked into the activity, but it is preferable if it is negotiated into a scene at a trial stage or at beginner level.<ref name="limit1" /><ref name="l2"/>
  • Squick feeling: Discomfort with certain kinky activities. It can also refer to someone who has no interest in the activity – it "squicks them out" – but who has no prejudice against the play or people who participate. It is believed that the word is a combination of "squirm" and "icky" and is used to imply an uncomfortable feeling mixed with disgust. The term is used instead of disgust because that word implies moral repugnance to the act.<ref name=":6" /><ref name="Serano-2013">Template:Cite book</ref><ref name="Nelson-2014">Template:Cite book</ref>
  • Sub drop: A strong physical and emotional response experienced by a participant in a BDSM scene. This can last for minutes, hours or days and include flu-like symptoms and strong emotions such as shame. Tops can also experience drop after a scene. Drop can be somewhat mitigated but not fully prevented by aftercare, including warmth, chocolate, quiet, darkness, cuddling and food/water.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Submissive (or "sub" for short): A person that gives up control, either all the time or for a specified period (not to be confused with "bottom" or "slave").
  • Subspace: A psychological state caused by excitement and sense of "letting go" of control during a scene. Typically experienced by submissives, s-types, or bottoms during a BDSM scene. It is often described as a "natural high" where the individual feels disconnected from time, space, and their body. Tops must monitor their partner's well-being during a scene since they may not be able to communicate their needs. Can be succeeded by sub drop.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Switch: A person who is contextually dominant and submissive during the same or separate scenes. Depending on preference, this could depend on their partner's gender identity or type of BDSM play.<ref>{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="s2">Template:Cite journal</ref>

  • Tit torture: The act of causing deliberate physical pain to the breasts or nipples.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref>
  • TNG: The Next Generation. A tag commonly used by groups and organizations which cater to younger people involved in BDSM, typically ages 18–35.<ref name="tng1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • Top: The person "doing the action" (contrasted with bottom – the person receiving the action). A top is not necessarily dominant in the scene.
  • Topping from the bottom: Derogatory term for an attempt to direct the top/dominant during a scene in a way not otherwise agreed upon. Bratting is an exception to this.<ref name="tfb1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="tfb2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • TPE (Total Power Exchange): A relationship where the dominant or owner has complete authority and influence over the submissive's life, making the majority of decisions.<ref name=":6" /><ref name="Reilly-2008">Template:Cite book</ref><ref name="Frayser-1995">Template:Cite book</ref>
  • Training: Either referring to a short period of time, or an ongoing effort of the dominant teaching the submissive how to behave for their own preferences.
  • Vanilla: Someone who is not into BDSM. Alternatively, sexual behavior which does not encompass BDSM activity.<ref name="vanil1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref>Template:Citation</ref><ref name="vanil3">Template:Cite journal</ref>

File:Wax play on back.jpg
Wax in a colorful pattern on the back of a subject
  • Wax play: The top drips hot wax on the bottom.<ref name="waxy1">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation

|CitationClass=web }}</ref><ref name="waxy2">{{#invoke:citation/CS1|citation |CitationClass=web }}</ref>

  • WIITWD: What It Is That We Do. A broad term referring to all forms of alternative sexuality.<ref>Template:Cite book</ref><ref name="wiitwd2">Template:Cite book</ref>
  • High protocol refers to groups or individuals that adhere to strict roles and role-based rules of conduct
  • Low protocol refers to groups or individuals that are more relaxed.Template:Cn

See alsoEdit

ReferencesEdit

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