Editing Warren Farrell (section)

== Integrating men's issues into gender issues ==
[[File:Warren Farrell at ARC Forum 2023 Day 2, 31 October 2023.jpg|thumb|Farrell speaking at the [[Alliance for Responsible Citizenship]] in London, 2023]]
In a 1997 interview, Farrell stated: "Everything went well until the mid-seventies when NOW came out against the presumption of joint custody. I couldn't believe the people I thought were pioneers in equality were saying that women should have the first option to have children or not to have children&nbsp;—&nbsp;that children should not have equal rights to their dad."<ref>J. Steven Svoboda (1997). [http://www.menweb.org/svofarre.htm "Interview with Warren Farrell"] MenWeb.com, accessed November 28, 2012</ref>

=== ''Why Men Are the Way They Are'' ===
Farrell's books each contain personal introductions that describe his perspective on how aspects of public consciousness and his own personal development led to the book. By the mid-1980s, Farrell was writing that both the role-reversal exercises and the women and men's groups allowed him to hear women's increasing anger toward men, and also learn about men's feelings of being misrepresented.<ref>{{citation | last = Farrell | first = Warren | contribution = Introduction | editor-last1 = Farrell | editor-first1 = Warren | editor-last2 = Sterba | editor-first2 = James P. | title = Why men are the way they are: the male-female dynamic | publisher = Bantam | location = Toronto & London | year = 1990 | isbn = 978-0-553-17628-5 }}</ref> He wrote ''Why Men Are The Way They Are''<ref name="Dynamic_9780553176285" /> to answer women's questions about men in a way he hoped rang true for the men.

He distinguished between what he believed to be each sex's primary fantasies and primary needs, stating that "both sexes fell in love with members of the other sex who are the least capable of loving: women with men who are successful; men with women who are young and beautiful."<ref>{{citation | last = Farrell | first = Warren | contribution = Chapter 5 | editor-last = Farrell | editor-first = Warren | title = Why men are the way they are: the male-female dynamic | publisher = Bantam | location = Toronto & London | year = 1990 | isbn = 978-0-553-17628-5 }}</ref><ref name="MPHSspeech.pdf">{{cite book | last = Farrell | first = Warren | title = 15 intriguing thoughts about men, women and relationships (for Midland Park High School's 50th Reunion) | url = http://206.130.104.114/PDFsdotcom/MPHSspeech.pdf | quote = Both sexes are biologically programmed to fall in love with the members of the opposite sex who are the least capable of loving. Men fall in love with women who are young and therefore less mature in their relationship skills, and beautiful, which usually means men compete to take care of them; women fall in love with men who are successful without realizing that many of the qualities it takes to be successful at work are inversely related to what it takes to be successful in love. | date = September 10, 2011 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20170808073354/http://206.130.104.114/PDFsdotcom/MPHSspeech.pdf | archive-date = August 8, 2017 | url-status = live }}</ref> He said that women feel disappointed because, "the qualities it takes to be successful at work are often in tension with the qualities it takes to be successful in love." He also said that men feel disappointed because, "a young and beautiful woman ('genetic celebrity') often learns more about receiving, not giving, while older and less-attractive women often learn more about giving and doing for others, which is more compatible with love."<ref name="Dynamic_9780553176285" />

=== ''The Myth of Male Power'' ===
{{Main|The Myth of Male Power}}
In 1993, Farrell wrote ''The Myth of Male Power'', in which he argued that the widespread perception of men having inordinate social and economic power is false, and that men are systematically disadvantaged in many ways. The book became a foundational text of the [[Men's Rights Movement]], and made Farrell one of its leading figures.<ref name="Ribeiro 2021">{{Cite conference |last1=Ribeiro |first1=Manoel Horta |last2=Blackburn |last3=Bradlyn |first3=Barry |first2=Jeremy |last4=De Cristofaro |first4=Emiliano |last5=Stringhini |first5=Gianluca |last6=Long |first6=Summer |last7=Greenberg |first7=Stephanie |last8=Zannettou |first8=Savvas |display-authors=3 |title=The Evolution of the Manosphere Across the Web |book-title=Proceedings of the International AAAI Conference on Web and Social Media |date=2021 |volume=15 |issue=1 |pages=196–207  |isbn=978-1-57735-869-5 |url=https://ojs.aaai.org/index.php/ICWSM/article/view/18053/17856 |doi=10.1609/icwsm.v15i1.18053 |doi-access=free |issn=2334-0770 |publisher=Association for the Advancement of Artificial Intelligence |location=Palo Alto, Calif.  |arxiv=2001.07600v5}}</ref><ref>{{cite journal|first1=Emily|last1=Carian|title="No Seat at the Party": Mobilizing White Masculinity in the Men's Rights Movement|url=https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/full/10.1080/00380237.2021.2009075|journal=Sociological Focus|date=2 January 2022|issn=0038-0237|pages=27–47|volume=55|issue=1|doi=10.1080/00380237.2021.2009075|s2cid=246210901 }}</ref><ref name="Kyparissiadis">{{cite journal |last1=Kyparissiadis |first1=George |last2=Skoulas |first2=Emmanuel |year=2021 |title="Manosphere and Manconomy: Divergent Masculinities in the Digital Space." |journal=Ex-centric Narratives: Journal of Anglophone Literature, Culture and Media |volume=5 |pages=199–217}}</ref>

''The Myth of Male Power'' was ardently challenged by some academic feminists{{Who|date=September 2024}}, whose critique is that men earn more money, and that money is power. Farrell concurs that men earn more money, and that money is one form of power. However, Farrell also adds that "men often feel obligated to earn money someone else spends while they die sooner—and feeling ''obligated'' is not power."<ref name="Myth_9780425181447" /> This perspective was to be more fully developed in Farrell's ''Why Men Earn More''.<ref name="Earn_9780814472101" />

[[Susan Faludi]] argued that Farrell had effectively recanted his original position as part of a generalized backlash against feminism.<ref>[[Susan Faludi|Faludi, Susan]] (1991), "[https://books.google.com/books?id=Irp3sOCk5cUC&pg=PT334 Warren Farrell: the liberated man recants]", in {{cite book | editor-last = Faludi | editor-first = Susan | editor-link = Susan Faludi | title = Backlash: the undeclared war against American women | pages = [https://archive.org/details/backlashundeclar00falu/page/334 334–339] | publisher = Crown Publishers | location = New York | isbn = 978-0-517-57698-4 | title-link = Backlash: The Undeclared War Against American Women | year = 1991 }}</ref>

=== ''Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say'' and ''Father and Child Reunion'' ===
The increase in divorces in the 1980s and 1990s turned Farrell's writing toward two issues: the poverty of couples' communication<ref name="Hear_9781876451318" /> and children's loss of their father in [[child custody]] cases.<ref name="Father_9781876451325" />

In ''Women Can't Hear What Men Don't Say'',<ref name="Hear_9781876451318" /> Farrell asserts that couples often fail to use couples' communication outside of counseling if the person receiving criticism does not know how to make her or himself feel safe. Farrell develops a method called "Cinematic Immersion" to create that safety and overcome what he posits is humans' biological propensity to respond defensively to personal criticism.<ref name="Hear_9781876451318" /><ref>{{cite book | title = Workshop Title: Couples' Communication Retreat | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20171114112429/https://www.esalen.org/sites/default/files/resource_attachments/Course_Information-Warren_Farrell-Couples_Communication_Retreat-Update_2017_0.pdf | archive-date = November 14, 2017 | url = https://www.esalen.org/sites/default/files/resource_attachments/Course_Information-Warren_Farrell-Couples_Communication_Retreat-Update_2017_0.pdf | publisher = [[Esalen Institute]] }}</ref>

To address children's loss of their father in child custody cases, Farrell wrote ''Father and Child Reunion'',<ref name="Father_9781876451325" /> a [[meta-analysis]] of research about what is the optimal family arrangement for children of divorce. ''Father and Child Reunion's'' findings include some 26 ways in which children of divorce do better when three conditions prevail: [[shared parenting|equally-shared parenting]] (or joint custody); close parental proximity; and no bad-mouthing.<ref name="Father_9781876451325" /> His research for ''Father and Child Reunion'' provided the basis for his frequently appearing in the first decade of the 21st Century as an expert witness in child custody cases on the balance between mothers' and fathers' rights needed to create the optimal family arrangement for children of divorce.{{cn|date=February 2025}}

=== ''Why Men Earn More'' ===
By the start of the 21st century, Farrell felt he had re-examined every substantial adult male–female issue except the pay gap (i.e., that men as a group tend to earn more money than women as a group).<ref name="Earn_9780814472101" /> In ''Why Men Earn More: The Startling Truth Behind the Pay Gap—and What Women Can Do About It,''<ref name="Earn_9780814472101" /> he documents 25 differences in men and women's work-life choices which, he argues, account for most or all of the pay gap more accurately than did claims of widespread discrimination against women. Farrell writes that men chose to earn more money, while each of women's choices prioritized having a more balanced life. These 25 differences allowed Farrell to offer women 25 ways to higher pay—and accompany each with their possible trade-offs.<ref name="Earn_9780814472101" /> The trade-offs include working more hours and for more years; taking technical or more hazardous jobs; relocating overseas or traveling overnight.<ref name="Earn_9780814472101" /> This led to considerable praise for ''Why Men Earn More'' as a career book for women.<ref>''Articles'':
* ''Why Men Earn More'' was chosen by ''U.S. News & World Report'' as one of five "Great Career Books."
* {{cite news | last = Nemko | first = Marty | title = Five Great Career Books to read in 2006 | archive-url = https://web.archive.org/web/20121016131523/http://www.usnews.com/usnews/biztech/career/careercoach/archive/060104/five_great_career_books_to_rea.htm | archive-date = October 16, 2012 | url = https://www.usnews.com/usnews/biztech/career/careercoach/archive/060104/five_great_career_books_to_rea.htm | date = January 4, 2006}}
* {{cite book | last = Bolles | first = Richard | title = What color is your parachute? job-hunter's workbook: how to create a picture of your ideal job or next career | page = 122 | publisher = Ten Speed Press | location = Berkeley & New York | year = 2010 | isbn = 978-1-58008-009-5 | quote = I would give this book to every female career-chooser or career-changer on the planet. }}
* {{cite web | title= 2005 Foreword INDIES WINNERS in Career (Adult Nonfiction) | url = https://www.forewordreviews.com/awards/winners/2005/career/ | publisher = Foreword Reviews | date = 2005 }}</ref>

Some of Farrell's findings in ''Why Men Earn More'' include his analysis of census bureau data that never-married women without children earn 13% more than their male counterparts, and that the [[gender pay gap]] is largely about married men with children who earn more due to their assuming more workplace obligations.

Themes woven throughout ''Why Men Earn More'' are the importance of assessing trade-offs; that "the road to high pay is a toll road;" the "Pay Paradox" (that "pay is about the power we forfeit to get the power of pay"); and, since men earn more, and women have more balanced lives, that men have more to learn from women than women do from men.<ref name="Earn_9780814472101" />

=== ''Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?'' ===
Farrell's 2008 book, ''Does Feminism Discriminate Against Men?'',<ref name="Feminism_9780195312829">{{cite book |last1=Farrell |first1=Warren |title=Does feminism discriminate against men? |last2=Sterba |first2=James P. |publisher=Oxford University Press |year=2008 |isbn=978-0-19-531282-9 |location=Oxford & New York}}</ref> is a debate book with feminist co-author [[James P. Sterba]]. Farrell felt gender studies in universities rarely incorporated the masculine gender except to demonize it. This book was Farrell's attempt to test whether a positive perspective about men would be allowed to be incorporated into universities' gender studies curriculum even if there were a feminist rebuttal.<ref name="Feminism_9780195312829" /> Farrell and Sterba debated 13 topics, from children's and fathers' rights, to the "Boy Crisis."

=== ''The Boy Crisis'' ===
Farrell co-authored the 2018 book ''The Boy Crisis'' with [[John Gray (American author)|John Gray]],<ref>{{Cite web |last=OpenLibrary.org |title=Boy Crisis by Warren Farrell {{!}} Open Library |url=https://openlibrary.org/works/OL17844217W/The_Boy_Crisis?edition=key:/books/OL28704599M |access-date=2025-05-27 |website=Open Library |language=en}}</ref> identifying a global pattern in which boys are falling behind girls in several areas across more than 50 developed nations. The book discusses contributing factors such as educational underperformance, mental and physical health challenges, and lack of male role models, particularly in father-absent households. Farrell argues that "dad-deprivation" significantly impacts boys' outcomes and proposes a range of solutions including expanded vocational training, shared parenting post-divorce, and increased male teacher representation in early education. The book also includes chapters on non-pharmaceutical strategies for ADHD by John Gray.

=== ''Role Mate to Soul Mate'' ===
Farrell’s 2024 book, ''Role Mate to Soul Mate'',<ref>{{Cite web |last=OpenLibrary.org |title=Role Mate to Soul Mate by Warren Farrell {{!}} Open Library |url=https://openlibrary.org/works/OL37855452W/Role_Mate_to_Soul_Mate?edition=key:/books/OL51093253M |access-date=2025-05-27 |website=Open Library |language=en}}</ref> outlines seven communication practices based on his decades of experience teaching couples workshops. The book explores ways to transform relationship challenges into opportunities for intimacy, with practical strategies for navigating criticism, conflict, and emotional disconnection. It also extends these methods beyond romantic relationships to improve communication with family, coworkers, and across political divides.